"Well, he won't leave. He says he's afraid he'll pass out on the bus and someone will harvest his organs."

We went to the state fair last week and had an awesome time. *eyebrow waggle at cheese on a stick* How you doin? It’s been a long time since I’ve been surrounded by so many people in the city and I have one thing to say; Oh My Lawd. I’m talking to you girl in the ratty leopard spotted stretch pants. Fact 1: I am the least fashionable person I know. I look for clothes that can only be described as bland. I do want them to be flattering, I just don’t have the desire to be adventurous or risk taking. Except when I get tattoos I guess. I try on clothes, and if the price is right and I don’t cringe at how I look, I get them. Fact 2: In high school I dressed in boy’s clothes that were about 100 sizes too big. And wore a shit ton of makeup. I like to be all contradictory and stuff. Then I of course went the opposite direction once I discovered girl clothes and wore them too small and showed too much skin. When flare jeans came out, I was all; what the hell is this, the 70s? I’m not wearing that shit! Which of course I went back on later, although in my own defense I never liked the largely flared jeans, I wore them, because that’s what was there, but I much preferred the just slightly flared ones, and often would take the bottoms in so they’d be a bit skinnier. So no matter what I say now, I may very well at some point buy skinny jeans to wear, (I did actually buy some skinny jeans at Tar.get for $5. I made them into shorts. Bermuda ones.) but right now? I think they make me look like an ice cream cone with big feet. And that’s post weight loss. I don’t expect to get any smaller then I am, so I don’t know if my perceptions will change or what. My point? I’ve always been years behind the rest of the pack. Fact 3: November of ‘08 I got pregnant. I bought dresses and skirts for most of my maternity wear. It was the summer and I was fat. The next summer, I’d lost the big belly, but not really any weight, so I continued to wear my dresses and skirts. I also had 1 pair of jeans I’d bought about 5 or 6 months pregnant, and 1 pair after G was born. I also had some maternity jeans, but once G hit 9 months old I was embarrassed to wear them and packed them up. So 2 pairs of jeans, that’s it. I was NOT spending money to buy more jeans in that size, I refused. Instead, I bought $5 Mil.ey Cy.rus pjs, christined them work out clothes, and wore those around the compound pretty exclusively. So for a space of 2 ½ years I did not go clothes shopping for things that made me look good, I went clothes shopping for things that my ass fit into and even then I only did it twice. Fact 4: I spend all my time with 2 year olds and their immediate families. Parents, grandparents, siblings. I don’t have cable, so this means no Old Na.vy commercials, no Gap musicals, no music videos, if they even play those anymore. Nor do we watch movies that would clue me in on current fashion trends. The last 5 movies bought on the compound; (we share) Arthur, Just Go With It, Hall Pass, Elmo Happy something or other, and Bambi. So no help there on what the youngin’s are a-wearin’. I spent the entire time ogling the world and their fashion sense. As I said before, I’m a non risk taking, cheap flip flop wearing, numerous shirts in the same style but various colors buying type of girl. So please don’t take offense when I say; I will never buy gold lamé sandals. Not ever ever. Especially bejeweled strappy ones that go up my ankle. I will not buy jeans with the holes strategically placed throughout the legs/ass. I need my shit to last, and if it already has holes, I feel the integrity of the cloth is compromised, and they’ll just get bigger. Rompers, (a shirt connected to shorts) will never grace my closet. My husband queried; “why don’t you cut off your shorts so the bottom of the pockets are visible?” as he watched a pair of them walk by him. My thighs weren’t so hot before pregnancy. Now? My shorts are 2 inches away from being capris. Thank you lawd for Bermuda shorts, I’ll take 5 pairs. I will not wear high waist pants, my torso is short, so those go to my fucking armpits, not to mention my ass/thigh/hip area is much larger then my waist, and generally if it fits one place it doesn’t fit the other, but no matter what, it looks AWFUL. I look at my mom’s fashion sense, and I shudder, I wonder what G will think of mine in 10 years. I hope that I am able to grow somewhat with the trends of the world, but while keeping true to the comfort and “style” that is all my own. I want to feel confident no matter what I wear, so if I don’t like it, that just won’t happen. Regardless of my opinions and my feet dragging, our trip to the fair proved once and for all, the 80s are BACK. *whimper*