Saturday, August 6, 2011
"That depends. Does square-dancing with my sister at a Teens for Jesus 4th of July Hoedown count as a date?"
J, G and I were sitting on the bed for story/Bambi time. Side note; who the fuck knew she would love that movie so much?!! When Bambi can’t find his mother the first time and yells for her, G copies him perfectly except for the pronunciation, she says mother with a v; “Muver! Muver!! Where are you?!!” Her eyebrows all worried and passionate. It kills me. I fast forward through the part his mom dies. She’s pretty in indifferent to it, but it breaks my heart. Anyway.
All of a sudden, I swear I smell something. “Babe. Do you smell that?!”
“I don’t smell anything.”
“It smells like someone’s smoking pot.”
“Who the hell would be smoking pot?” We live in the boondocks, with only my in laws on the compound. I don’t think G’s granny is outside toking up. But still.
“I don’t know, but don’t you smell it?!”
“No.”
I get up and look out the front windows, nothing, I look out the windows facing the back of the house. I see the dogs playing on the hill, nothing else. But the smell is coming from that direction. I sit back down on the bed and tell him I didn’t see anyone, but it’s coming from the back of the house. He rolls his eyes or does something as equally dismissive and disrespectful. Ass. About 2 minutes later he jumps off the bed and looks out our window. Then goes to the windows facing the back of the house. Here he pauses, looking out for a couple of minutes. Then he yells; “You fucking idiots!!” And slams it closed. He closes the one next to it as well, and comes back to our room. I look at him.
“Stupid dogs are playing with a skunk.”
Oh. Oops. Obviously I’ve not yet acclimated my city brain to my country surroundings. I wonder how long that will take.
I was going to tell you guys about this awful book I was reading, but then I finished it, and it went from awful to so horrendous I don’t think I can discuss it. It was so full of clichés and a chance meeting at a shoe store that leads to an ADOPTION 2 WEEKS LATER that I just can’t. So do yourselves a favor and don’t read Baby Proof by Emily Griffin. It’s a chick book, and it made me want to barf. It did bring up some hypothetical questions about surrogacy and egg donation though, so let me wrap my brain around that and I’ll post in a couple of days.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
OMG how do you POSSIBLY mistake the smell of skunk with the smell of weed? LOL. Love it. Ick to the book. And I admire you for having the emotional energy for Bambi. Seriously. The mere IDEA of that movie is a tearjerker for me right now.
ReplyDeleteMy husband always thinks he smells pot. ALWAYS. If we drive through a heavily-wooded area, he's all, "Dude. . .someone's smoking pot." A skunk definitely equals pot.
ReplyDeleteYour book sounds terrible. I'm reading a terrible book, too. Good times.
Poor stinky puppies. There is a reason some of it's called skunk weed. :)
ReplyDeleteWhen Muddy stayed at my (parents') house, a skunk sprayed outside his window in the middle of the night. Apparently skunks don't live in Norway. He said he thought his computer was burning or something was horribly wrong in his room. :))
Can I just say I freakin LOVE your blog titles?!? I always get all excited when I read them! BLOGGITY! :)) On another note, both skunk and pot REEK. Eww. I remember the first time I smelled weed, I was riding in the back of my friend James's limo (yes that was his everyday car) to a country concert/festivus/festival in the middle of nowhere, and whoever else was in the car with us lit up and started toking. No contact high, I just remember thinking it stunk like burning hay. Now I know immediately what that shit smells like. Eww. ;)
ReplyDeleteAdoption 2 weeks later~my friends have waited 2 1/2 years. Ah, the joy of implausibly simple novel solutions.
ReplyDeleteI thought maybe the inlaws were growing weed as suppl. income & the field caught fire. ~Mary
IC rolls his eyes at me all the time because I swear there is an australian plant that smells like feet and it makes my nose itch. Badly.
ReplyDeleteI still haven't watched bambi because I can't handle it when animals are sad.
Brooke, no clue, I guess I smoked really shitty weed in high school and that's all I have to base how it smells? All I know is, skunk equals pot. G picked the movie out, I should have known she would actually like this one, as it makes me all sad.
ReplyDeleteLisa, glad it's not just me. On all counts. :)
Megan, HIS COMPUTER BURNING?!! That's a new one! The dogs seemed to be unfazed, 5 bucks says they were just trying to be friends.
Mariah, Thank you! I've used quotes for my blogs from the very begining. Myspace bulletins too, it started as a game with my sister, she was my movie/music obessed sidekick, and it was her job to figure out what the quote was from. We need a limo as a compound vehicle, to fit us all when we go places together.
Mary, that would have been very awkward indeed. 911 what's your emergancy? My pot is on fire...
Deidra, it's almost worse then when people are sad isnt' it?