“I explained our predicament to our letter carrier. He was sympathetic, his exact words were "Got your back Jack. Bitches be crazy!"”

Sooo, seeing that I am the one in charge of taking the pictures, there aren't any of me in the dress where you can see the actual dress. Awful I know. Even worse? I have no clue how to post pictures on my blog. Honestly people? We're lucky I figured out how to make a blog in the first place. I will however google that shit, and see if I can figure it out. Maybe I'll put the dress on again if it still fits. I caught the plague on Tuesday and I’m not quite all together yet, so I hope this post makes sense. I can deal with a lot, but a fever so bad my skin hurts takes some recoup time. I decided eff being vague, so you may want to skip this one. I’ve never had a bladder infection that I know of, but there was this one time I had a kidney infection. It was so bad I had a fever, barfing, and I had to get a shot in my ass as well as take antibiotics home. I know kidney infections come from bladder infections; I just didn’t get symptoms before that. So keeping in mind how quick it goes to my kidney I google what the big deal is about bladder infections during pregnancy. Big apparently, because pregnant kidney infections are not good. Google was all; Premature labor! Bad things all around! And I was all; AHHHHH!!! And called my doctor. They fit me in, but I had to take G. She was so good. Oh my goodness it could have been so much worse. She did not allow me to distract her one bit while I was giving the urine sample, (DAMNIT) so I really hope she doesn’t start peeing in cups when I can’t even get her to pee in the toilet on a regular basis. “Mama! What you doing?!!” Ugh. She also didn’t even flinch when the doctor checked my nether regions to see if the uterus was affecting the bladder. “Mama, you getting naked?!” “Yes baby, do you like the white skirt mama gets to wear?” “Uuuuuuhhhh.” She’s totally thinking ‘whatever weirdo, it’s a sheet’. Here’s hoping she’s not all traumatized by it. She just sat in her chair all by herself, talking and asking questions. I was so proud. I don’t have a bladder infection by the way, everything is fine. I still have to pee every 5 seconds and can’t poop without large quantities of dried fruit to save my life. It’s a tradeoff I suppose. It reminded me of the old days. I OBVIOUSLY never took any of the kids to the vagina doctor, but I did take them just about everywhere else. When you work my odd hours, sometimes you just had to do shit when you could. One time I took one of the kids with me to get blood drawn. She was actually one of the kids I nannied, not one of the group home kids, so she was younger, 4 maybe? (I took care of them from their birth until they were 6 and 9, when I left to come live with J.) I explained that I needed to get blood taken and we’d go to a place to do that. She asked incredulously; “They gonna bite you?!” I told her no, they’d stick a needle in and take the blood, it wouldn’t hurt, there’s no biting. “They suck your blood?!” Again I had to explain. Luckily I’m fine with needles and getting blood taken so I knew I wouldn’t flip out or anything. We talked about it the whole way there and she was not happy with the conversation. We get there and the phlebotomist was so nice. She offered to let the girl sit on my lap, which she adamantly refused. She sat in a chair by the door and wouldn’t come any closer. The lady explained everything that was going to happen, and the most adorable chubby cheeked girl glowered at her, refusing to acknowledge or answer any questions. Finally I apologized to the poor woman who was doing very well and whispered an explanation; “I’m so sorry, she thinks you’re a vampire.” The woman sighed heavily and said; “I get that a lot.” One of many experiences made funny by small children. I can’t wait for more with G. My heart goes out to all the moms and dads who have lost baby on Infant Loss Rememberance Day. Light and love to us all.