"A kid who wears the same gymnastics sweatshirt three days a week isn't getting laid until he's 29. That's what I know. "

I wait impatiently for him to leave. I listen to the door shut at the bottom of the stairs then I walk to the window and look out. I watch to see where he will go, if he needs to run upstairs for just one more thing. As soon as he’s out of sight I steal into the other room getting out all the things I need. I move quickly and quietly, jumping at every noise, listening for the door. I do my best to remove and clean up all evidence of my transgression, worried at what will happen when he comes home. Will he know as soon as he walks in? Did I miss something important? I wipe, clean, rinse, throw away. I use mouth wash, now worried and guilty. It’s not worth it, I should have not given in to the temptation, and I regret the choice I made. All this for a goddamn tuna sandwich. I need a more protein packed lunch. My bottom drops out from under me quickly these days so I need to pack in the protein whenever possible. Tuna was a common suggestion, which turns out I can’t really have that often, but once in awhile will probably be all right, and would be a nice change. But really? I think I’m going to have to figure something else out. My husband and I come from very different eating backgrounds. I was raised with pretty bland food; I like the Americanized version of foreign foods. Olive Garden would be the best example. But I’m willing to try most things at least once, unless it’s spicy. I don’t feel food should hurt me when I eat it. Hot spice does not add flavor in my opinion, as I don’t taste any of it through the pain. My husband’s family adores Mexican food. Oh my they’d have it every night if they could. I like a great deal of it as well, it contains cheese and tomatoes on a pretty regular basis, but jalapenos and I do not get along. I also don’t like onion or bell peppers. I don’t like the flavor or indigestion. For his family, the hotter the better. Black pepper loaded on everything. Problems galore. But fish is the biggest deal yet. I like fish; it’s nice to eat here and there. I LOVE crab and shrimp and I make a spaghetti clam sauce that I adore. Not allowed here on the compound, in any of the 3 houses. None of them can stand a bit of it. It actually makes my FiL ill to smell it. In my current every single smell makes me want to barf pregnant state, I try to be sympathetic. But when I came to the realization that my kid(s) will probably never try a fish stick in their lives, I almost cried a little bit. That was a staple growing up for me. My secret sauce was famous at the group home. All the kids loved it!! Fish sticks and mac and cheese; it’s what was for dinner, often. But not here. G has already been exposed to some seafood, we went to an uncle’s house when they were serving cioppino and she LOVED it. I’ll be doing my best to expose her to as many foods as I can, but quite a few of them may have to be without her father, because while I can be around spicy food, he can’t stand even the smell of seafood. Hopefully he keeps his trap shut and doesn’t warp her impressionable little mind. (I commented the other day her shirt was getting a little tight, oh lawd, you’d think it turned into a boa constrictor, fits and screaming about it forever. Note to self; shut it.) I am currently on the look out for a ‘second kitchen’. Someone who’d like me to come cook for them, with my kid, so that we can all enjoy something fishy in nature. Especially the spaghetti sauce, it’s one of my favorites. It’ll be interesting to navigate this as she gets older, and at some point eats, you know, FOOD. Hopefully she’ll be more open minded then the both of us, a perfect blend of our idiosyncrasies. Wishful thinking I’m sure. *Guts update* I saw a midwife whom I hadn’t seen yet for this pregnancy, but met as a nurse in labor and delivery with G. I told her about the contractions and her first question was; “How anxious are you about this pregnancy?” *cue hysterical laughter* So yeah, relax and don’t stress out and the contractions won’t be a problem. I wonder what they have in that chart, do they just put the losses and it’s assumed (not wrongly) I’m a basket case? Or is it written in there; ‘cries alot’. Either way, they’re all being gentle with me, and it’s appreciated. Our next appointment is Nov 28. EEEPP. I’m nervous about that. But we’re getting to the point where I’m starting to feel wiggles in there, so that’s reassuring, and I think that I will be more inclined to call when I have a worry or question if my appointments aren’t so close. I’ll contact them immediately instead of waiting it out. So there’s that. Also we’ll find out if it’s a boy or girl, we’re not waiters. I asked about dizzy spells, which they said was a common pregnancy complaint and looked in my ears. One is pretty waxy and the other had wax impacted in it. Sexy I know. They tell me to get some stuff from the pharmacy. I looked at Wal.mart on a busy day apparently so I was distracted by motorized scooters trying to edge by me in the crowded isles and got something that says don’t use for impacted wax, go to a professional to get that taken care of. I’d go back but I think they probably all say that. I used it anyway and am thus far unimpressed. Also I think I have swimmer’s ear. Figures.