"Are you concerned because the world is full of big dogs and bullies?"

This isn't a real post.  This is me just trying to write.  No matter what.  I'm struggling right now, I've received some news that is taking awhile to compute.  Isn't it funny how sometimes when you're having a shit time, all you want to do is write.  Get it all out into the universe, make it sting less.  And sometimes you sit down to write and you wake up 3 hours later on Askreddit reading about everyone's darkest secrets.  It's crazy.  So please, be patient with me, and get to know the old me a little better in the meantime.  I got this from the wonderful Lucid Lotus.  This is supposed to be a link.

1. What were you doing 10 Years Ago?

I was 23 going on 24, so I'd been with my ex for 6/7 years.  At this point we were probably right towards the end of the Good Time.  There were a few years in the middle of our relationship where things went really well, and we were a good couple together.  And then it all went to shit and I spent the last 2 to 3 years hating him.  *shrug*  I worked at the group home, had been dancing long enough to love it.  I was generally very happy.  

2. What 5 things are on your to do list?
Write, write, write.

Look into to preschool.  (EEP.)

Plan mom's birthday.

Completely clean house for easter egg hunt this weekend.

Run the dishwasher.  Last time I forgot and we almost ate breakfast off of dirty dishes.  Gross.

3, What are 5 snacks you enjoy?
Peanut butter cups.

Baked cheddar and sour cream ruffles.

These BBQ kettle chips J bought that I almost killed in one sitting.  That was ridiculous.

Butterscotch squares from See's.  That should be at the top actually.

Nacho cheese and tortilla chips.  The kind that's probably made of plastic because it's not refrigerated.  So fucking good.

4. Name some things you would do if you were a millionaire

Hawaii.  We would absolutely live there.  I'd take everyone on the compound kicking and screaming if I had to.

Houses for everyone.  My mom, my siblings, my dad if he wanted one somewhere else.  

I would do so much volunteer work it would be ridiculous.  G and I would fly everywhere in the hopes of helping people and walk dogs at the shelter on the weekends.  What's stopping me now?  Gas money, dinner needing to be made, etc. 

Oh snap, a chef.  Fuck cooking.

College funds, for G, my nieces and nephew.  

Maybe I'd go too.  Unlikely.

5. Name some places you have lived

In a miserable excuse of a house that now looks like it felt when I lived there.  Awful.  My old friend came to see me and she said; I almost took a picture of your old house!  It looks so bad!  J and I laughed, wouldn't former step dad think that was weird, to have someone taking pictures of his house?  And she looked at me in absolute horror; Someone still LIVES there?!  Yep.

What I thought was the ghetto.  I was wrong.

The actual ghetto.  In a house that belonged there.  I showered at work.  And cried alot.  Oddly enough maybe 2 miles away was neighborhoods with the most beautiful houses.  Each one completely unique.  I drove through them when I needed to.  Maybe I lived on the edge of the ghetto.

Nice apartments we kept getting kicked out of due to my ex's inappropriate behaviors.

A studio apartment in a "bad" complex that was my absolute favorite place to live ever.  It was wonderful. 

A beautiful house, built lovingly by my husband's own 2 hands in the middle of nowhere.  

6. Name some bad habits you have
I swear alot. 

I drink even more than I swear.

I worry worry worry.

I procrastinate.

Total shit family member.

There's more, but leave it at that.

7. Name some jobs you have had

Group home staff.

Hotel room cleaner.

At a shipping store.

Nanny.  

That's it really.  

*My quote.  I'm fairly sure it's from Sheldon on Big Bang Theory.  I like it because I AM concerned about these things.  I have to send G out into the world and they're lurking around every corner dammit! 

ED: I have no idea why everything looks all wonky when I publish this.  It all looks normal while I'm writing it.  Fucking Blogger.  I already have to change my reader, don't tempt me to move completely.....