"Now if you excuse me, I have to roll around with a sweaty guy from Holland."

G, J and I went on bay-cation to the snow this weekend.  It was about what I expected; cold, wet, miserable.  I really hate the snow you guys.  I went for my kid, and no other reason, I have NO idea how some of you LIVE where it snows all the time.  I just can't wrap my head around it.  It snows here about once a year, for a few hours.  As with any storm I'm on high alert because THE ELECTRICITY NEEDS TO STAY ON.  It snowed pretty good up here 2 weeks ago, we made a snowman and everything, I really wanted to call it good, but we'd already made the reservations so I didn't bitch. 

I have never gone to a place specifically for snow before.  We bought G a snow suit because it came with a coat and it was a good deal.  When I was taking the tags off I noticed the interesting way the bottom of the pants were made.  My husband was like haven't you ever seen a snow suit before?  No.  I have not.  I have never skied, snowboarded, ice skated, snow shoed, nothing.  The last time I went to the snow it was to see my BFF for new years and the snow could suck it.  I got a ride from her cousins, because I do not EVER DRIVE IN THE SNOW NO MATTER WHAT.  They met me at like 6 in the morning or some nonsense because they wanted to snowboard for the day.  My BFF worked at a....snow place, I don't fucking know, not a resort, but like a specific mountain people go to with lifts and shit.  They wanted to spend as much time there as possible so we stopped there first, it was like 9 am.  They went out on the mountain, I found my BFF, who led me to the bar.  Where I was served a beverage by a large tattooed african american gentleman wearing a kilt.  And it was awesome.  I read gossip mags she provided, (it was before I had a decent phone) and drank until her cousins came in and said blah blah blah something wrong with the snow it's not fun.  I don't know really.  Then they took me to her house and I slept for like 3 hours because hello?!  I'd gotten up at like 4:30 am to meet them and had already started drinking.  It was a really good weekend.  But I avoided the snow at all costs.  Because it's awful.  

So we go to the snow.  I buy snow boots from K.mart, because this is NOT going to be a regular event, I just didn't think my vans would hold up so well.    J used to snowboard, so he has some stuff already.  We buy G some snowboots, and she looks fucking adorable in all her gear.  I made her a hat.  It's really cute actually, and I'm looking for a slightly different pattern, but am planning to make more.  Including one for me.  We get all dressed up and as soon as we get out there I'm like; this fucking sucks.  I tried really hard to be positive.  Of course I didn't bitch in front of the kid, I totally faked it, but wow, it took effort.  We hiked all around in the snow, (read: sank a bunch, it was super hard to get around in that shit!) had snow ball fights, made a snow family.  My nose was running and I was standing in snow up to my knees so it was less than a good time.  We found a playground where the snow had melted enough she could play on it and did that for awhile. And we finally went in for nap.  After nap we went to a couple stores and to dinner, which took forever, so when that was done we came home and watched cable.  Ahhh cable.  Then bath and bed.  

The next morning we absolutely planned to go sledding.  We BOUGHT a sled for Scott's sake, but when we woke up it was snowing pretty bad.  So our plan was to drive to a park at the edge of the snow line and go sledding there on our way home.  That way we could make it past the scary stuck out of town because the roads become too bad when J has to work the next day part but still have some fun.  Didn't happen.  I feel AWFUL.  But we went from white out, me in the passenger seat having an anxiety attack, to pouring ass rain.  No in between.  But we have a sled.  So apparently we'll be doing something with that.  My vote is J drive her up to a park for the day.  Because lawd. Just the thought of doing that again makes me want to weep.  The only thing that saved me was Hous.e Hu.nters Hawaii.  *DROOLS*

p.s.  We are officially screwed when traveling with my kid from here on out.  She is Too Big for her pack n play for reals.  What the hell do people do with toddler/younger children?!  Get 2 queens?!  That seems lame.  I can't sleep with her in the bed.  It has never once worked for me, so that's not an option.  I get the couch and J sleeps with her?   She gets the couch?!  I don't know how this is going to work.  Are there.....cots maybe?   Shitballs.  

*My quote is from a movie called Here Comes the Boom.  It has Kevin James and Selma Hyaek, (I love her) it was very funny, super cute, I recommend it.