“I’m glad I wore my fun underwear.”

Dear 2011, Holy shit you were such a major bitch. Like you were the star of Mean Girls, plus some. (sidenote, I have never watched that movie, but I’ve heard a bunch of times I should) I realize I didn’t actually lose Little T within your time period, but all my grieving took place there, so I feel you should take the blame. But everyone knows all about this seeing as I’ve been whining nonstop for the past oh, I don’t know, year maybe? about it. So, I will now list the positive shit you brought about. Oh yeah, I’m going there, you didn’t bring me down. Nice try though. I became free of hormones for the first time since the end of 2008. This is important because I kinda thought crazy bitch was my new permanent personality, but turns out normal me still exists. I’m just really sensitive to hormonal changes in my body. Which I knew because lawd I’ve met me on birth control, sort of the same concept. But when all was cleared out I was leveled headed, and more importantly I felt stable and like the old me. I appreciate that. Almost the same thing as above except with weight loss. I’m one of the fun girls who stubbornly hangs on to every pregnancy pound until I’m no longer breast feeding. I was really worried my metabolism had changed for good. It’s not only about how I looked, although I will admit I wasn’t pleased with that. It was about how I felt; out of breath, exhausted, just plain unhealthy. Once I started exercising everything changed so much for the better. I’m very happy to find out I’m still capable of feeling like that despite my aging and mommyness. I went here; http://www.darcypadilla.com/thejulieproject/intro.html And learned to love the shit out of my house, my mountains, and that my poorness is relative. We can’t afford cable, or gas, to you know, go places, but holy shit my kid has a beautiful clean room, is surrounded by people to love her and has healthy ass food. When she eats it. And you know what, so do I. Which rocks. My husband and daughter carried me through this year on their shoulders. I have no idea if they will ever know how much sadness I got through because of their kisses, but I am forever grateful. I have found So. Many. AWESOME bloggers this year. I mean seriously you guys are phenomenal. I’m moved, inspired, and just plain awestruck on a daily basis. I hope you will continue to allow me to be a part of your writing and lives in this new year. I’ve connected with mommies in real life as well. I am so thankful for these amazing women. Playdates are my savior. I love that G is interacting with little ones her age, but that I am connecting with motivated, smart, women my age has helped me immensely. My adult interactions have changed considerably in the past few years, and I am so happy to be able to have real conversations while still fulfilling my want to have G with me, and having a good time. And I have no guilt because we’re multi tasking and shit. G. Always G. I would relive every single moment of this godforsaken year for the time I spent with her. Watching her grow and learn is worth every tear I have ever shed. I was thinking the other day how much easier my life was before getting married and having kids. I was self centered, which I don’t say negatively, I was still a good person with a job I enjoyed helping kids, I was just in a place where I could do what I wanted when I wanted. My life was my own, and it was much easier. But it wasn’t better. I had no idea the beauty I was missing out on, having a husband I not only love, but that I like, (the 2 are not mutually inclusive) and that beautiful little girl. Every second with her is heaven. Even when she kicked me in the jaw and it hurt to chew for 2 days. We really have to work on potty training, damn. So despite your best efforts, you wicked witch that is 2011, I am still standing. I will not regret you, but I bid you ado with much pleasure, and look forward to a new, and (it bears repeating) fanfuckingtastic year. Good riddance, Amelia