I of course urge all of you to go read and submit as well. This one made my brain very happy with all the possible ways to use this word, I had a hard time choosing between 2 stories but in the end this one needed to come out.
Our word for this week was:
beast noun \ˈbēst\
1 a: a four-footed mammal as distinguished from a human being
b: a lower animal as distinguished from a human being
c: an animal as distinguished from a plant
d : an animal under human control
2: a contemptible person
3: something formidably difficult to control or deal with
Using as usual the 3rd definition.
She watches as her husband and daughter coo and laugh at the tiny baby, his hands grabbing their fingers. The wicked ever present beast that is her own feelings of inadequacy rears up and strikes where it hurts most, clawing it’s way easily through her soft pathetic defenses.
See how happy they are with what you can never provide? See how gentle G is with the baby, perfect for an older sister. Look how your husband makes the baby giggle. Never for you..never for you…
The voice taunts her menacingly. Her chest constricts so tightly it takes all her concentration to just be able to In. Hale. Blinking her eyes willing the tears to stay where they belong.
Her daughter slides down off the couch and runs over to her. “Mama, mama! You see the baby? The baby is so cute!” She nods and tries to smile.
Her husband hands the baby back to his mother and comes to sit next to her as her daughter climbs up into her lap talking excitedly about the baby. He puts his arm around her and she does her best to exhale as slowly as possible.
Did they notice? Can they tell? Isn’t it obvious? It’s you, it’s you, of course it’s your fault. As if you deserve such happiness. Evil words echo in her brain.
Her daughter gets her attention, both her hands on her cheeks to insure eyes on her; “kiss mama!” and her chest releases a little, she breathes. A conversation is started, words are spoken, she moves on.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
"The beast with 2 backs" kept repeating in my head. I'm 12, apparently.
I am once again participating in the prompt from Trifecta.
I of course urge all of you to go read and submit as well. This one made my brain very happy with all the possible ways to use this word, I had a hard time choosing between 2 stories but in the end this one needed to come out.
Our word for this week was:
beast noun \ˈbēst\
1 a: a four-footed mammal as distinguished from a human being
b: a lower animal as distinguished from a human being
c: an animal as distinguished from a plant
d : an animal under human control
2: a contemptible person
3: something formidably difficult to control or deal with
Using as usual the 3rd definition.
She watches as her husband and daughter coo and laugh at the tiny baby, his hands grabbing their fingers. The wicked ever present beast that is her own feelings of inadequacy rears up and strikes where it hurts most, clawing it’s way easily through her soft pathetic defenses.
See how happy they are with what you can never provide? See how gentle G is with the baby, perfect for an older sister. Look how your husband makes the baby giggle. Never for you..never for you…
The voice taunts her menacingly. Her chest constricts so tightly it takes all her concentration to just be able to In. Hale. Blinking her eyes willing the tears to stay where they belong.
Her daughter slides down off the couch and runs over to her. “Mama, mama! You see the baby? The baby is so cute!” She nods and tries to smile.
Her husband hands the baby back to his mother and comes to sit next to her as her daughter climbs up into her lap talking excitedly about the baby. He puts his arm around her and she does her best to exhale as slowly as possible.
Did they notice? Can they tell? Isn’t it obvious? It’s you, it’s you, of course it’s your fault. As if you deserve such happiness. Evil words echo in her brain.
Her daughter gets her attention, both her hands on her cheeks to insure eyes on her; “kiss mama!” and her chest releases a little, she breathes. A conversation is started, words are spoken, she moves on.
I of course urge all of you to go read and submit as well. This one made my brain very happy with all the possible ways to use this word, I had a hard time choosing between 2 stories but in the end this one needed to come out.
Our word for this week was:
beast noun \ˈbēst\
1 a: a four-footed mammal as distinguished from a human being
b: a lower animal as distinguished from a human being
c: an animal as distinguished from a plant
d : an animal under human control
2: a contemptible person
3: something formidably difficult to control or deal with
Using as usual the 3rd definition.
She watches as her husband and daughter coo and laugh at the tiny baby, his hands grabbing their fingers. The wicked ever present beast that is her own feelings of inadequacy rears up and strikes where it hurts most, clawing it’s way easily through her soft pathetic defenses.
See how happy they are with what you can never provide? See how gentle G is with the baby, perfect for an older sister. Look how your husband makes the baby giggle. Never for you..never for you…
The voice taunts her menacingly. Her chest constricts so tightly it takes all her concentration to just be able to In. Hale. Blinking her eyes willing the tears to stay where they belong.
Her daughter slides down off the couch and runs over to her. “Mama, mama! You see the baby? The baby is so cute!” She nods and tries to smile.
Her husband hands the baby back to his mother and comes to sit next to her as her daughter climbs up into her lap talking excitedly about the baby. He puts his arm around her and she does her best to exhale as slowly as possible.
Did they notice? Can they tell? Isn’t it obvious? It’s you, it’s you, of course it’s your fault. As if you deserve such happiness. Evil words echo in her brain.
Her daughter gets her attention, both her hands on her cheeks to insure eyes on her; “kiss mama!” and her chest releases a little, she breathes. A conversation is started, words are spoken, she moves on.
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A great example of Postpartum depression (PPD).
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure if this fictional character were to read an account like this written by uh, pretty much anyone, she would instinctively think, and probably say, "No, it's not your fault." Seems she might be a wee bit hard on herself for things that are completely out of her control, no matter how much she wishes they weren't.
ReplyDeleteA very powerful look at PPD. I like the feeling of hope at the end.
ReplyDeleteI found myself holding my breath until the line, and her chest releases a little, she breathes.
ReplyDeleteI actually thought she was having issues conceiving again and that was why she was so hard on herself. As if she believes the fault lies purely with her...It could go either way I suppose.
ReplyDeleteWomen are much too hard on themselves when it comes to children.
Well done on this
Um, ya. And I'm with LucidLotus.
ReplyDelete"Her daughter gets her attention, both her hands on her cheeks to insure eyes on her; “kiss mama!” and her chest releases a little, she breathes."
This sentence really moved me. The details brought tears of reality.
PPD? Erm, one should be so ... lucky?
ReplyDeleteThis is beautiful. And of course it's not her fault, but it leaves me sad to know how many women mourn lost children and so must deal with these kinds of emotions as they relate to their families.
I haven't been where you are, but I, too, wish my son's hands were competing with another young set of hands as both tried to get my attention.
Oh how painful to feel so left out, to feel like a baby is taunting with what she doesn't have. Others have said it, and I'm sure her intellect knows it, but it bears repeating. It's not her fault.
ReplyDeleteIt's not your fault.
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Thank you for joining up again this week. You've managed to create something with multiple meanings for your audience, which is always a powerful thing. The emotion here is beautiful and heart-wrenching. Thank you for sharing. Come back on Friday for our weekend challenge?
ReplyDeleteI thought like Carrie. And these voices telling her it's her fault. It's so irrational and once she snaps out of it she probably knows that it's not her fault. But these "evil words" probably keep sneaking up on her.
ReplyDelete