Thursday, January 19, 2012
The one where your brains leak out of your ears as you read this.
Sorry I haven’t updated. Last week was so out of sorts, everything happening on days it doesn’t usually, I’ve just been appreciating a calmer week. Also, it turns out you should probably just skip this one cuz it’s awful and super boring.
Therapy was decent. The lady was very nice, and it was a…..relief to be able to talk about my sons again. Not my feelings so much about them, just to tell part of their story you know? I was of course crying before my ass hit the couch and dear god she has the worst Kleenexes I’ve ever seen, I may have to bring my own. *stuck up* I am going back, but I’m still unsure. I’ve never been to therapy. Should I go in with things in mind to talk about? Stories for her? Examples of my craziness? Will she have questions for me? I mean, what’s going to change really in 2 weeks? Still sad about my babies dying, crying a bunch, but getting better, no clue if we should try to have more, G is awesome. We’ll have like 45 minutes left. Hopefully there’s more to it than that.
It’s been a really weird winter here, weather wise. It’s been spring honestly. It occurred to me the other day that maybe the universe is giving me all this sunshine so I can survive all the bullshit thrown at me during winter. I appreciate it and all, but I’m still going to have to say a big fuck you universe, you’re not forgiven. G is super pissed about it because she got an umbrella and galoshes for Christmas she has yet to be able to use in real rain. I did turn the hose on her one day, so she could sing and dance, but I don’t think it was the same. Even I have to admit we need the rain now, it’s all dusty and brown around here when it’s usually wet and green. It looks odd. Unfortunately it has gotten colder this week and my knee is protesting loudly. It really hurts and it doesn’t seem to matter how warmed up I get, it yells when I run.
I’m super (pathetically) excited about vacuuming today. We have this lame ass bagless vacuum that gets clogged after every use. So I have to dump it every time I want to use it, and that entails all the skin flakes I vacuumed up last time poofing up in my face and freaking me the fuck out because what’s the point in vacuuming up the goddamn skin bits if I’m just going to inhale them anyway?!! But J took it downstairs and rinsed it all out yesterday so I’m saved from that and it’ll pick up all the shit that it’s been missing in its clogged glory.
Jesusfuckingchrist this is the worst post ever. I’m going to have to start writing while drunk or something. I’ll do better next time I promise, maybe it’ll be a prompt. Haha! I told J I got a lot of comments on my post about our conversation and he says; “Yeah, it’s just so hard for something to weep on a vehicle; it’s much more likely to spray.” Like all the comments I got were about his motorcycle/car knowledge and not his completely inappropriate sense of humor/pick up lines. He’s nothing if not entertaining. Signing off on that note. (sparing you more like, please do come back)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
You're so funny. You shouldn't have to come to therapy with much of anything. Your therapist should be able to guide your conversation in a meaningful direction. Give it a few sessions, I'd say, before you decide one way or the other.
ReplyDeleteYour husband sounds like a riot. Boys are so funny.
xoxo
Dude, you're funny even when you're boring. Um, that sounded better in my head.
ReplyDeleteDon't sweat the therapy thing, you'll probably be surprised what comes up and out.
Psssst ... You don't have to have every second of your day planned. :p
ReplyDeleteI hate vacuuming, so I only do it when the carpet isn't the correct color anymore, or the dogs roll around on it and pick up more dirt than they leave behind.
I've never known how to handle therapy sessions, either. Been going since I as wee- you'd think I'd at least get a game plan worked out.
ReplyDeleteVacuuming can be exciting, but it's even more exciting to come home the next day knowing your house is already vacuumed. Bah-liss.
And this concludes a totally awesome domestic commentary, amiright?
I have had varied experiences with therapy and therapists, which I used back when I was out of my teens and in big troubles, and then with my husband when I needed him to hear me and he couldn't. Luckily the (second) person we saw was skilled and I totally got my times-worth out of that one.
ReplyDeleteBack in the day, though, I used to think I would know what I was going to talk about, but it never turned out to be what happened, just like all of the rest of my life. I have learned in life that everything I think is going to happen doesn't, so might as well wait and see, so that is what I recommend strongly. But if you have something TO talk about one week, bring it on too, right? it's just that the ensuing conversation will likely be better than you expect. The great thing about therapy is that it rarely bombs on a weekly basis, it just hurts real bad. But the hurt is there anyway, kind of like a back pimple (the kind with a head) that is there and you know it because it is under the bra strap and it itches, and sometimes kind of hurts. You get your guy (okay, I get mine) to pop it, which hurts like freaking hell, after it feels less bad, though sometimes not totally better.
And yes. I did just compare therapy to popping a pimple. You may not prefer me after I say this, but I happen to twistedly like both.
Bring your own tissue if hers isn't nice, you deserve good tissue. (And maybe bring a box, thump it on the table, and tell her to stop being a cheapwad, that her clients deserve a soft blow.
I gotta go. *poof*
I always found myself coming up with stories/questions/issues to specifically discuss with my therapist. Of course, I do the same thing with friends I haven't talked to in a while, so maybe that's just part of my brand of crazy. Glad it didn't suck anyway, and that you're going back.
ReplyDeleteAlso glad your husband is a dream. I say if someone can make you laugh when life is like this, you hold on to him as tight as you can.
Thinking of you.