My thoughts and emotions are weighing me down, heavy with the previous 2 years of conception and loss. We are beginning The Time of Pregnancy. Fucking Fall. No, I'm not knocked up, I just was this time last year, and as of the end of this month, this time the year before. The autopsy results are in, the genetic counselor is going over them with the geneticist, and then with us. Fridayish we should hear from her. I'm scared shitless.
One of the first blogs I read off of myspazz remains one of my favorites to this day.
http://anymommyoutthere.com/
Her awesome humor, outlook, and warm loving words have never failed me. She is pregnant with her miracle baby, the one doctors told her her body would never be able to carry after complications from the delivery of her previous child, only to find out it is incompatible with life outside the womb. Those fucking words. My heart breaks for her, and me and all of us.
I need something, other then an afternoon cocktail, so in an attempt at self preservation, it's time for The Two Songs That.... Are From Actors That Can Sing.
The first one is Brittney Murphy. I was so sad when she died, she had such talent, in acting, as well as singing it turns out. Those with who have watched Happy Feet knew this already, she had an amazing voice, but she released a song that I really liked. It's poppy, club dancey, just what I need today.
The 2nd one is Jaimie Foxx. The song I picked does not show off his voice, it's all computer synthesized and junk, but the video made me laugh, so it's the one I chose. It was in the movie Ray I found out how well he sings and plays the piano, very impressive discovery from In Living Color's Sha Nae Nae.
I love watching movies where the actors sing, dance and act, these abilities used to be a requirement of entertainers, I like when it's used to help the story along. It's always a plus when we can look beyond the boobs and six packs. (Not ALL the time of course, shit, don't get carried away.) Anyway, you should see G do Singin' in the Rain, watch out world!!
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The conception & loss would bring about a perilous level of emotion to keep contained in anyone, that is why I am glad you do not contain it. This is an excellent place to dump it. Blogs really do have a few medicinal qualities. The haphazards of nature can be endlessly cruel, but you don't really have to go it alone. ~Mary
ReplyDeleteI'm relieved daily I decided to upload every thought I've ever had onto the interwebs for complete strangers to read. I'm so thankful for you.
DeleteNone of us are alone.
ReplyDeleteThank goodness for that.
DeleteThinking of you as the seasons change... I know it's hard.
ReplyDeleteYou'll keep us posted on how Friday goes? No parent should have to hear autopsy results. I'm so sorry that this is your reality right now. I'm hoping that somehow the sad news can also bring you new hope.
I absolutely will keep you updated, and I just have no idea what to hope for as what I'd like the results to say is; "I promise you'll be able to keep the next one." Which I doubt. They're from the ME, not a Sylvia Brown.
DeleteHeart breaks with you now
ReplyDeleteJust words beyond partial truth
Please keep showing up
Thank you, and I don't think you could get rid of me if you tried. I'll be here.
DeleteI heart you. And Jaimie Foxx. That guy just seems to be living the life. Charmed, I'm sure.
ReplyDeleteWord. Did you see him in Due Date? He's damn funny.
DeleteAnd I really heart you too.
DeleteThinking of you today and every day. Also--I'd totally forgotten that Brittney Murphy was dead. I'm so old that I have to keep asking people if celebrities are dead or not. I'm all, "Ok, Michael Jackson is toast. How's Madonna holding up? Tina Turner? Whitney HOUSTON IS DEAD?" Fuck, old age is not going to be kind to me.
ReplyDelete