Saturday Satire

What is your favorite Kool-Aid flavor?
Lemonade.

Do you have a wireless keyboard and mouse?
I'm typing on my BiL's laptop.

Last sporting event you watched on tv or in person?
The Olympics, those 2 volley ball players that won the gold, I watched the last minute of the match and never heard of them before in my life but I was CRYING my eyes out for like 5 minutes. *sniff sniff* I'm still getting choked up. Those girls make me want to do sit ups though, damn.

Who makes the best fudge?
I did some decent dairy free fudge. My kid liked it.

Do you like it when toothpaste bubbles in your mouth?
I don't, it makes me gag.

Do you believe that the world is gonna end at 2012?
*Looks at watch* I'm hoping no.

How many songs are on your iPod or MP3 Player?
Ummm. Shit. 10,395. But they are from everyone on the compound so there may or may not be John fucking Tesh and Natalie Merchant on there. Bleh.

Have you ever made your own survey?
I have, but it was like 8 years ago, I was really drunk, and it was for myspace.

Can you swear inside your house?
Um. I hope so.

Do you save Bed Bath and Beyond coupons?
I don't. Do they exist still? I thought they went out of business.

Have you ever had a pet goldfish?
No.

When did you last eat waffles?
My husband's birthday? Father's day?

What is the most overrated thing in your opinion?
Personal opinions. Except mine.

Do you have a video Skype account?
I don't.

What color is your bed comforter?
Dark grey. Or gray?

Does being in love make you gain weight?
Ahahahaha!!! I can attest that I gained 15 pounds within 18 months of meeting my husband, BUT it was because I wanted to cuddle instead of do the 300 sit ups and 100 push ups I did every night, and he took me out ot eat instead of me living on vodka and tomato soup. So I'm not sure how to answer that. It did for me? Also, the first 10 pounds were much needed.

Dumbest person you know? and why?
I don't know dumb people.

Do your parents have home videos of you as a kid?
No.

How old is your oldest cousin?
Shiiiit. I don't know any from my dad's side and that's where they would be from so I can't answer that.

If you HAD to get a tattoo, where and what would it be?
My next tattoo will be a poem and I'm undecided where it will be.

Do you think Obama has tried drugs?
Better question; do I give a shit? No.

What color is your bra or boxers?
Black.

What is your favorite radio station?
I don't have one. I'm a surfer, never satisfied.

What ethnicity was your last ex?
White.

What brand is your refrigerator?
Kitchenaid.

How many people do you know that are pregnant?
Fuck. That's a loaded question, because I read a bunch of blogs where people are knocked up. I guess the people I may actually meet the kid; 2.

Do you have a picture with your middle finger up?
Possibly....

When is the last time you went to a birthday party?
Last Saturday. It was my kid's. I threw it and junk so I had to go.

What is the best thing to happen to you this year so far?
Every good morning kiss.

How long have you lived in the house you live in?
1 year and 3 months.

Do you read a newspaper daily?
No.

Anything your really afraid of?
TONS.

Do you read tabloids?
While I'm waiting in line at the check out. Oh! And I read What Would Tyler Durden Do? Which is like an online tabloid because it is DAMN funny.

Have you ever had a really bad haircut?
I did. The Lesbian Soccer Mom haircut. I cried for 3 months. Turns out the shorter my hair is the BIGGER it gets. Awkward.

Do you like your peanut butter crunchy or creamy?
Creamy.

What is the scariest movie you've ever seen?
No clue.

Have you ever ridden a skateboard?
Poorly.

Do you drink enough water on a daily basis?
Doubtful.

Would you burn the American flag for a million dollars?
What?! I'm not answering that.

The main thing you cant leave your house without?
My phone of course. I'm one of Them.

Do you think the economy is improving yet?
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

When was the last time you read a book?
Like a month maybe?

Where did you get that shirt you're wearing?
Ross.

Do you play pranks on April Fools Day?
I don't. I don't care.