Saturday, November 5, 2011

"...when we lose ourselves in fear and despair, in routine and constancy, in hopelessness and tragedy, we can thank God for Bavarian sugar cookies. "

Okay. OKAY. Here's the deal. You know how you try to go through every possible scenario in your head, in order to be prepared for whatever is stressing you out? Well that just isn't possible in this case. There is no preparation that could ever be made that will help if there's bad news a-comin. So I'm going to go the opposite route, and picture fan-fucking-tastic news coming from the Ultra Sound Gods. I'm going to take my fears and explain them reasonably and easily fixable. For example; low amniotic fluid. Is the reason I don't feel the baby kicking as much as I should. Is caused by gestational diabeetus, and will be fixed by me no longer shoving my face with buckets of Dots and licorice every night. Also the shit ton of carbs I ingest through out the day. Will it be annoying to deny myself those pleasures? Yes. Do I care? No. I will totally eat blended spinach wrapped in ham if that's what's required. Also, it means I have a great excuse to stop eating that shitty dried fruit. Who needs to poop anyway? I don't know how to increase amniotic fluid, but maybe I'll google that shit or something. No doubt it's drink more water as that's the answer to all pregnancy ailments. Cuz we don't pee enough. I am blocking out my doctor's Concerned Face because eff that guy, (Not really, he's a good doctor, he's just harshing my gig you know?) and replacing it with the look of joy and the words; "Everything looks good!" from the Ultra Sound God. Because really? That's what I've been hearing for 18 fucking weeks. How can it all go to shit in one fell swoop? It can't. I Decided. I have 22 more weeks to cook this baby to bring home on or around Easter. This shit's going to happen. I am capable of creating a baby I will take home. G is proof of this. So there. Hopefully tomorrow I don't post something hysterical and crazy. Well. Crazier. I got this shit. I'm going to meditate and junk. Thank you guys, for holding me up through this. Also, anyone know where I can find some Bavarian sugar cookies? Oh wait, I'm avoiding those right now.
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7 comments:

  1. Seeking ElevationNovember 5, 2011 at 3:37 PM

    That's right, dammit. You go girl. And yes, more water is always the answer in pregnancy. They're very big on water. :-) Got contractions? Drink water. Don't have contractions but want some? More water. Can't poop? Water. Pooping too much? Better have some water. Ugh.

    xoxo

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  2. B. Wilson @ Windy {City} WilsonsNovember 5, 2011 at 6:22 PM

    Who is eating a bag of pita chips as I read this... despite already having dinner? Yeah, me. Consider it sympathy/nervous eating for and with you.

    Let's pretend it's all perfect, eh? I'm on board. Because hell, it's not like we have much control in that department-- and we're certainly not very good at it if we do. Bah.

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  3. MeganNovember 5, 2011 at 6:47 PM

    Enjoy your spinach and ham wraps!! It might work better if you blend the ham and wrap it in spinach though. I've got plenty of shitty food recipes!! Banana/spinach/sesame seed smoothies with a touch of honey are edible. Kinda. No, no, I mean they're fucking great.

    I'm with you, what are the fucking odds that not one thing was wrong until now? *manifesting a wonderfully healthy baby for you too*

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  4. BrookeNovember 6, 2011 at 5:10 AM

    I'm one of those pessimists who scoffs at the idea of thinking positively, except in this case, it makes PERFECT SENSE. There is nothing you can do here except to actively imagine the best-case scenario and do everything humanly possible on your end to make sure you're supporting that possibility. The fact that you have already had a healthy baby dramatically increases your odds for having another healthy baby. And with 18 perfect weeks behind you, you have no reason not to believe that things will be okay. You're right--no amount of preparation would make bad news easier to take, but getting worked up and upset in advance won't change the results of the scan any more than being calm and hopeful will. I agree that the best thing you can do is send love to your baby and peace to yourself. And I'm doing the same from here.

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  5. karenNovember 6, 2011 at 10:36 PM

    I am with every post about this one and sending good vibrations from the west coast. You give your baby every moment of a good life not because you never know but because every moment should always be the best we can make it. And when you are done? Imagine the Bavarian sugar cookies you will no longer have to avoid. (And I had kids who screamed if I touched a milk product, three of them, for the first year of each of their lives at least. A drop, even cooked in something else. So I know what you mean. It is doable. And after? Freeeeeforallllllll! You can doooooo thissssss!

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  6. AnonymousNovember 7, 2011 at 2:29 PM

    I can be quite the cynic, but I do meditate every day...I'll do one for you & the baby tonight. ~Mary

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  7. MamaKK922November 8, 2011 at 5:06 PM

    I am sending all the good vibes I can possibly muster your way! And holiday babies are the SHIT, so an Easter baby will be FANTASTIC!

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