"Best I can figure, they were trying to fly through that barn, upside down."

My grandma Kay was a seamstress. She made wedding dresses. Doesn’t that sound so romantic? I’d love to do something like that. Her son, my former step father, and I had conflict from the very beginning, and it lasted the entire 20 years he and my mom were married. So needless to say we never sat down and talked about the past, what his childhood was like, who his parents were. Everything I know was told to me by my mom, and it isn’t very much. She made wedding dresses and he was a teacher. Maybe a principal at some point? I’m not sure.

She made clothes for all the grand kids, our dresses were GORGEOUS. I mean these things were made for twirling. Pinafores, pleats, embroidery, all of it, phenomenal. I asked my mom if she had kept the dresses, and she said kind of vaguely..I thought I put them in a box somewhere….so I don’t know if they’re still around. If they are found I would absolutely put G in them.

They have a beautiful house with a view only rivaled by the one I have now. They had one TV, downstairs in the finished basement, with rabbit ears and a dial to change the channel. I was bewildered. How could they watch TV on that?! They didn’t. Sometimes, very rarely grandpa would go downstairs to watch a game or maybe the news, otherwise they listened to the radio. Classical music or NPR. They had individually wrapped sliced American cheese for lunch. We never had those at home, I have no idea why, maybe it was expensive, nutritionally unsound? Who knows, but it was SUCH a treat to eat it there, I loved making sandwiches in their big kitchen, picking and choosing what to put on mine.

She also made quilts, I believe all of the grandchildren had one, sometimes more probably. I didn’t get mine until I was 21 so I had given up. I cried when I got it, I couldn’t imagine a more wonderful gift, and it may be why I started crocheting blankets, I can’t make you a quilt, but I can make you something to keep you cozy, warm, and wrapped up in love, which is how I felt. Every single stitch she sewed by hand. They were her art, she would work on numerous quilts at time, putting down one and picking up another when inspired. Mine is a Crazy Quilt Pattern. My sister had cats I believe, and my other sister had something else, I want to say it was white, and I was quite envious of it, the colors were beautiful.

She gave me my first sewing box, and taught me my first stitches at age 7, patiently teaching me over and over what to do. In my mid 20s I was teaching the kids at the group home to sew, and rather than bring the sewing box and box of fabric in every night I just kept it in my car. When my car was stolen, I was almost sadder about the box than the car. Especially since I got the car back, but the sewing box was long gone. I was heartbroken. I am not a particularly wonderful sewer, but I alter my clothes quite regularly, and can do what’s needed when things tear. I can make you great big floor pillows should you desire them instead of furniture. I have the top to a very hideous quilt buried in the bottom of my yarn box. Quite honestly this thing should never see the light of day. I started it with her when I was 7. She gave me some pre sewed squares, and taught me to sew the rest. I added to it over the years, not caring that the fabric was different thicknesses, or that it was ugly as all hell, hey, it was free right? Trying my best to make the squares the same size but not always accomplishing it. I finished it sometime before I got together with J, and could never find the right backing for it. I wanted something calm, neutral, to make up for the insanity of an 18 year span of undiscriminating piecing on the front. Maybe G will put the quilt together someday.

While I have been and remain a horrible family member in general, there were a few years that I was a less than awful granddaughter and in my early 20s wrote all my grandparents letters quite regularly, them included. So I hold in my heart that I know I told them numerous times how much they meant to me, how much I appreciated all that she did, the creative fire she lit in my heart. Of course I stopped writing, and after my mom and he divorced I no longer had any contact with them. I hope my sister passed along my well wishes and words of love.

This morning the world lost a beautiful woman. One I should have kept in touch with. I am grateful for her influence on my life, for what she taught me, the gifts she gave. I hope she was surrounded by those that love her and that they are comforted by how many lives she added depth and joy to. I send her my thanks, and them light and love. Especially to grandpa, I can't imagine how he is doing right now. She is very missed over here in my quiet corner of the world.