"The only healthy way to live life is to learn to like all the little everyday things, like a sip of good whiskey in the evening, a soft bed, or a feisty gentleman like myself."

I’m a carrier. Of people, not like, infectious diseases. Although to be fair, I haven’t been tested for any infectious diseases lately so I can’t completely rule out the possibility that I have them. They have nothing to do with my intentions for this post though, so kindly stop bringing them up.

I used get into the same argument every Tuesday night with my ex. I babysat the 2 little ones that aren’t so little anymore who came to visit me recently. It was always a late night for them, and the 4 year old would inevitably fall asleep. Being that we lived in the city, you couldn’t really take one kid to the car strap them in and then go get the other, especially when they’re not even yours. (Side note, once their mother asked if I brought them into my house before I brought in my groceries. Such confidence in my abilities.) So I would have appreciated help; carry one of the children, (the other one was 1) or in the very least open some goddamn doors for me while I carry them both. He refused most of the time. “She’s too old to be carried.” He said. I don’t have a strong recollection of what I did, I assume opened all the damn doors myself, because I do remember carrying them both. I’m angry after writing that.

When I was pregnant with little T and G was a year and a couple of months we were still really deep in the ‘hold me’s’. Like I was having significant problems accomplishing household chores, cleaning, cooking etc. So I decided I really wanted a sling/backpack thing to pop her on my back and go about my business. I hoped it would provide the closeness and comfort she craved while allowing my arms and front to be free. I started looking online and talked to J about it. He got involved and manned it all up beyond what I knew existed, and we ended up in REI spending a boat load of money on a stroller without wheels. I mean this thing is crazy. But I got talked into it because it wasn’t actually THAT much more expensive then the smaller more intimate versions I was looking at! Seriously these things are expensive! Plus J has a very bad back and this provided support so he could use it too and blahbity blah blah. I didn’t realize that what I saw in my head actually existed until after we’d already bought the stroller for my back. I used it once of course. I can’t wash dishes with that monstrosity on my strapped to me, and G was up, but not right next to me. It’s a really awesome one too, it would work wonderfully if we hiked or something. Which we don’t. Ever. See the problem? Not happy with this I keep looking and do find what I’d wanted, but they are just as expensive as everything else even though they’re a piece of cloth and some sashes, so I can’t justify spending more money on something that does what we technically already have. I’ve recently found one I really like, that’s about $30 cheaper than its counterparts and G has about 6 pounds before she’s over the weight limit. Doh! Besides, anywhere we go that requires walking we have a stroller (with wheels) and I probably wouldn’t want to wear her all through a fair or something. It was for home use mostly, and it’s no longer an issue. However, should I get knocked up again, and be able to bring the kid home, I’m buying that shit immediately. I have baby wearing PLANS.

I still haul G around whenever I can. She’s getting heavier, and independent, but sometimes, like last night when we went for a walk she started dragging her feet and very dramatically said; “I’m ZAUSTED.” So I picked her up.

I don’t have an age or size limit on how long my child, or any child should be carried. I try to pick up all my daughter’s friends for a hug when I see them. Kids like being picked up generally. If not, I of course respect those wishes.

It’s more than just the cuddling, the closeness, the smooching that usually follows. I also like being capable. Of course I can’t run a marathon schlepping my kid around in my arms, (I can’t run a marathon just by myself) but I can carry her through a store because she fell down and hurt her knee (is tired, cranky, needs a squoosh hug, whatever). I like being strong enough to pick things up and I look at carrying her as my training; if I keep doing it as she gets bigger I’m only getting stronger right? I don’t understand the ‘she’s too old for that’ thought. Says who? And if I want to do it what do you care? People are so weird.

So if you see me in a store, hauling my giant kid around in a couple years, don’t think; ‘ugh, that kid is so spoiled’ think instead; ‘Dang. Look at her mom’s arms, she’s ripped!’ Because that’s how I’m justifying it.