"Strangely enough, lucky for Kurt, there's no laws on the books against putting people's toiletries up your ass."

Bon Jour. I did end up going camping, I did survive, and it was as awful as I expected. We put the camper on the truck and put a blow up bed in the back for the 3 of us. That wasn’t very bad, I preferred it to drafty tents, but shimmying out of the back of a truck you can’t sit up in trying not to wake your kid to use the bathroom in the freezing ass cold at 1:30 am was less than awesome. As for the place itself, it was of course beautiful, trees and rocks and such. But as I told our friends, I have all that here yo. I go out in nature every day to play with G. We tromp through the weeds looking for bugs, play hide and seek and chase under the tall pine trees and climb on the boulders every single day rain or shine. I HAVE nature, plenty of wide open spaces, and then I go inside and take a shower. I just don’t get the camping concept, and in all honesty was massively bored. Perhaps I would have liked it if we had brought the stroller and gone hiking as much as it would have let us, I don’t know. G was in melt down mode because she refused to take a nap, so getting her to walk anywhere else wasn’t happening. But sitting around by a freezing ass creek, or in a dirt/smoke filled campsite perpetually twitching to get whatever is crawling on me off is not my idea of a great time. The bugs were HORRIBLE. Like biting flies, mosquitoes, big yellow I have no idea what they’re called bugs CONSTANTLY trying to bite us. I think that is what makes me the most annoyed. You can’t sit and relax when you are under constant attack, and the fly bites left huge swollen welts on people, they looked painful. It stressed me the hell out.

So, I went. I tried not to be a massive bitch, but I was absolutely honest when people asked me if it was so much more fun than I thought. Like I’ve never been or something. My dislike comes from EXPERIENCE people. When they asked I told them, it’s dirty, bug filled and cold, 3 things at the top of my list of shit I don’t like, throw in no shower and toilet that doesn’t flush and we’re in my own personal hell. Not to mention G’s flipping out the whole first day because she didn’t nap. Screaming kids are great as it echoes through the trees. Fun for all involved. J mentioned cabins across from a beautiful lake about 20 minutes from where we were, so I looked those up and they run about $200 a night. For fucking reals. If I’m spending that kind of money there better be room service and cable involved. Maybe a jet tub. He also brought up borrowing a RV from someone, but driving that sucker up those mountains would probably run us $200 in gas so my final answer will undoubtedly be; 'have fun' whilst I wave from the door. The end.

Onto even less happier subjects; I have my doctor’s appointment tomorrow. I’m very anxious about it. Having to talk to him in itself is an issue. But I know I need to address it, exposure to that which is making me worry is the best thing for me. Add to that I also know the chances of me crying in front of him are pretty high, which I hate. And the fact that the conclusion of the appointment will most likely be “stress” is less than freaking awesome as well. But my hair is still falling out, and I’m going to be fucking bald soon, the OPK is indicating I’m not ovulating, and I’m much more tired than I should be really for someone who eats, exercises and sleeps as I do, so it’s worth a shot. It is probably stress. Grief. And it’s not his fault that it has to be him to tell me that, but it doesn’t make me look forward to it any more knowing that. Maybe he’ll surprise me and have a detailed plan of action that will make everything better. I’m sure he’s got his magic wand ready and waiting.

Let’s see, we can’t end on this note or we’ll all need Prozac with a vodka chaser. Here we go;

G, watching Little Mermaid (I hate that movie) at the shark scene with an angry squinty eye face; “Look at that bad shark. I’m going to punch that shark right in his face. Then I’m going to kick him in his face. Dang mean shark.”
I wish there was a Buddhist temple in our area. We obviously could benefit from some non violent teachings.