We can't actually get cable, it's not offered for our boondock mountain, I just use that as a generalization, like kleenex and band aids. But we can get satellite. My dad doesn't have cable either but he lives in a city, so with an antenna or something he gets like 5 stations. We do not. We get ant races and that's it.
It's been 2 years and 6 months since I've had tv stations available to me, and I remember it well. I remember the; "I'll do X just as soon as this show is over." or "Just as soon as there's a break." I remember the tv being on at all times; 'company' 'background noise'. A distraction really.
I am not a non tv-er. I would LOVE to be. But it is a crutch I rely upon. G watches some in the morning while I shower, something "educational" during lunch/wind down time for nap. (Pim the french speaking panda, Signing Time, Little Einsteins, etc.) On vacuuming/bathroom days it's on right after her nap, while I'm accomplishing that task, then it's on during dinner and after bath. Fuck. Writing all that makes me want to hang my head in shame. But I knew I didn't like how the cleaning days went already. On non cleaning days we leave the house. Outside, grocery shopping, play date, whatever. We don't have the tv on. Until dinner of course. Ugh. Oh, and I didn't even take into account the days J isn't home and I exercise. Yes I put out books and toys, but the tv is on.
Cable is only going to make this worse. I can feel it. Accessibility. Better shit than what we have in stacks against my bedroom wall. "Grow a pair!" I can feel you say, "You don't have to watch it even if it's there!" You are very very right. But here's the deal; we are entering The Time. My Littles' birthdays, followed by the immense January let down of having to put all the decorations and cheeriness away with nothing left to look forward to until THE SUN COMES OUT NEXT JUNE. I do not do well with non summer seasons. And I do even worse with winter. My defenses are down down down. I'm already fighting a losing battle with my phone. I feel like the electronic distractions are a catalyst for depression, they just feed on each other until....who knows what. All the design shows, and House Hunters International, and NCIS episodes and strange medical shit will call to me and I'll sit down...for just a second. At least it's not spazzy seizure inducing cartoons right? Like my shows are any better.
Then there's my husband. My very tired extremely hard working husband. Who says; Oh! I want the football games! And I see all hope of him and our daughter spending any quality time in the little time they are awake together going down the tubes. This does not mean that is necessarily going to happen. I am OVER SENSITIVE about quality time. It comes from being a product of divorce; my dad not really taking much of an interest during my formative years, and my former step dad being a big old douche. I see every minute they spend together as the potential for her not to be stoned up and sexually active her freshman year of high school.
If I ever get really good insurance I'm going to make some therapist RICH.
But my point; Preoccupation. Excuses. Brain cells swirling down the cords and out into the air we are not enjoying. I do not want to live my life in the commercials. Especially since you can dvr everything and fast forward through those bitches. It would be awesome if I could watch Big Bang Theory the same year it was released. But I'm really afraid of the price we will pay for it. And I'm not talking money, though I should be because that shit is EXPENSIVE. What toll will it take on the upkeep of our house? The work done on our relationships, the time spent as a family?
Or, at some point I'm going to have to stop over thinking this and put on my big girl panties. I wonder which station Shameless is on.
*My quote is from Big Bang Theory. Howard says this to Raj. It made me laugh because I remember how many times I've tried to get the attention of a deaf person by yelling at their back. It is so flipping embarrassing if there's a hearing person around.
If generic cable is a foregone conclusion, look on the bright side. Your child may have TOO MANY brain cells. You want her to be intelligent, but not to the point of having difficulty relating to her peers (unless you live in an area [read UTAH, SOUTHERN IDAHO] where her peers would likely be dullards, in which case you do not want her to lower herself to the point of being able to relate to them). Anyway, a little TV may be a good thing. It will dumb her down just a little.
ReplyDeleteAs you already know, there's some GREAT programming out there. there's also even more really shitty programming, but that is beside the point.
My mother heavily restricted my TV access when I was young. I now am a complete and total TV junkie. If g gets a little more TV, maybe she will not turn into the degenerate that I have become.
Regarding football and father/daughter relationships, she may have to learn the difference between a play action pass and a screen pass (a distinction I haven't personally mastered because I don't actually WANT to talk to my dad)in order to have anything in common with her father. It's not the way things are probably supposed to be, but it seemed to work for Dan and Darlene on "Roseanne." (I watch enough TV now that my entire reality is rooted in tV programs. If you deny your child access to tV now, that will probably happen to her when she gets older.)
Happy medium is the goal, I get it. Also, maybe their relationship will develop despite the idiot box. Something to consider. Thanks.
DeleteYou know I hate the teevee, for all of the reasons you just mentioned. Plus the ads that are geared towards people who aren't old enough to have an allowance. Plus a ton of other shit. Plus a lot of history. My father was hardcore into tv and basically watched it from the time he came home from work until he went to bed. We came a distant, like, tenth. I grew up hating it, and I refuse to watch it when my kids are awake. Dramatic? Yes. But it totally works for us. They get maybe 20 minutes a day, and I'm cool with that. If they turn out to be junkies, that's on them. Adults make their own decisions, I figure.
ReplyDeleteThat being said. Listen to yourself, woman! You're all, "On my cleaning days" and "on my non-bathroom days". You are a woman with a freaking plan, yo. There is absolutely nothing saying you can't schedule in tv time and non-tv time. It does not have to rule your life. You have way more sense and control than that, I think.
Hope you find your groove. You will. I bet my husband's extra-large flat screen on it. :-)
Hahaha! I do have plans, and interestingly enough, I don't watch tv when my kid is up, if she or my husband are not watching it, it's off. Something I hope will continue whether we get cable or not.
DeleteThank you.
Last time I had a TV was about 2001, I believe, & have yet to miss it. It compromises & reduces everything(to me), & I want broaden... I also find it to be fertile soil for demagogues, but most people seem quite fine with living their lives in the commercial time, so they must be getting something out of it.
ReplyDeleteOooh, to completely live without it at all, now that would be interesting. I suppose you get your current events elsewhere though whereas I just skip along clueless and fine with it.
DeleteI think that if you're concerned about it, you will figure out a way to make a schedule that works for you. I totally understand your concerns because I watched more TV in the months after Eliza died (those cold, dark winter months) that I probably had in the two years before. David and I are already noticing the way the TV captures Zuzu's attention (she seriously appeared to be watching both the Purina dog show and an old James Bond movie yesterday) and it does kind of freak me out. It's one thing for me to have the TV on in the background while I'm cleaning/sewing/blogging/grading papers, but it's another to see the way little kids zombie-out in front of it. So I get what you're saying. I guess the thing is to make TV time purposeful (ie you have to work out and it keeps G out of harm's way and where you can watch her) or a special treat (for you as well as G). You can easily decide that you don't turn it on before noon or you don't watch it on Saturdays or whatever. All good things in moderation.
ReplyDeleteThe thing is, it's really nice to watch the Big Bang Theory in 20 minutes and then get up and get things done. It's the getting up and getting things done part that's hard.
Absolutely, there are so many things she's learning, and having tv provide the whole sum of her imagination for her is not where I want to be. Moderation, moderation.
DeleteDon't do it!!! I'm trying to convince the two brainless twits who stare at stuff they don't even watch that I am not the Anti-Christ for wanting to cancel it.
ReplyDeleteHahaha! It is the last frontier on shit we can afford, we shall see.
DeleteOh this is hard. Daryl likes tge tv. I wish we didn't have one. Most of the year I don't really turn it on. But there is one show I really like to watch right now. Daryl watches tv at night. Mostly while I put tge kids to sleep but it is expensive. It doesn't get in the way of quality time with him and Kai and I'm thankful for that. I let Kai watch shows more than I thought I would and a lot less than most parents. But it's great when I totally need a minute or well let's face it, an hour. I have abused it but some days I never turn it on. If Kai needs down time after a lot of playing outside and I'm making him lunch he gets to watch a show, no commercials. But I hear you and I'm with you.
ReplyDeleteWhat a dilemma! And I'm not being a jerk saying that. You really did write through all of the concerns and seriously, the least of those is financial. It's mostly time and I totally, totally get that.
ReplyDeleteI don't come from divorce, but I also am crazy about family time. Maybe that's why I'm such a psycho about the basement renovation not being done yet. It's like every hour away from being together feels like Benjamin will experience broken-home life and I don't want that for him. It's trivial and stupid and totally false, but it's what my heart feels. I think adding the loss of our babies to the mix makes it all the more convoluted because we know those babies missed every moment with FAMILY and we don't want our surviving kids to have anything but everything.
Hahaha!! It IS a dilemma. Thank you for recognizing that! It's a given in a lot of homes, and sometimes it does feel odd that it's something I consider optional.
DeleteI think losing my Littles certainly exsaserbated my feelings on family time. Hopefully it's something that will calm with time?
My family bonding occurred over reality TV whether I liked it or not. As an adult I've realized my parents are a little bit incapable of relating to their kids and use television as a shield, but is that a cause or effect? Any which way I refuse to purchase a TV. That said, my kid gets his installments of Diego and Kipper and all that via the Ne.tfli.x on my trusty laptop. At least it's commerical free...?
ReplyDeleteI think your concerns are valid. I'd say if you're worried, scrap it. Television is my addiction, as well- I'd be planted in front of The Real Housewives of Wherever, hating every moment, unable to turn away. I'm sort of terrified I'll turn around and my son will be twenty-three and angry because I never really *saw* him. *sigh* But these are all my issues.
No they're my issues too, I don't wish them on either of us but its good to know I'm not alone.
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