Autumn is...

Sunday, October 11, 2009 Autumn is... Current mood: cold We have a new Dew(ed) write!! Here's my contribution..... http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/metaphor Autumn is……. Autumn is my 3rd drink of the night. Let's say the drinks are screwdrivers. In pint glasses. Beer and wine not quite strong enough for this metaphor, and long islands would require this to end at the hospital, not my goal. So, vodka, oj, ice. Will do nicely. The first drink (spring) is a celebration of the end of your extended period of sobriety. It is the the foundation of the the evening, laying the ground work. I'm happy to be out and drinking, as opposed to being happy that I'm drunk already. Excited about what's to come, socializing, good company. I'm buzzing nicely, but are able to carry on conversation without seeming like a complete idiot, and are more inclined to get to know my fellow bar attendees. It's nice, but it's a quiet nice, sometimes I have to stop there, but the night is more fun when I can continue on.... The second drink (summer) is where it's at. Being the cheap date that I am, I'm pretty well sloshed at the end of this one. But it's a wonderful, free, dancing and talking sloshed. My cheeks are warm, I can join the smokers outside without my teeth chattering. This is my happy place. This is where I should end the evening. I should be satisified here, take the good (warmth, sunshine, vitamin D, tans, cute clothes, long days) with the bad, (sunburns, dehydration, people whining; "It's so hot, when will it cool down?") But sometimes, I order another... The third drink (autumn!) is taking things too far. I wanted to extend my time out, the fun to be had, but really, my third drink should have been water. I make less sense, will probably trip over something, eyes will be rolled in my direction. I have to pee every five seconds, and there's always a line. I'm not horrible, but it's certainly not as fun as drink two. I continued on and now I am sad I have to say good bye to the carefree evening that I will remember, and say hello to what will come filled with trepidation. Because of course, if I ordered drink three, four will follow.... The fourth drink (winter) should be avoided at all costs. There will be blurry periods of time, or things that I remember much too clearly. I will stumble home. I will lay in bed, look up at the ceiling and think, "Huh, the swirlys are very bad tonight." and that will be the end of it all. The next hour or two will be spent in the bathroom, on the floor in front of the toilet. My husband, sweet man, will knock on the door, "Are you ok? Do you need help?" Ahhh!!! Help?!! No way. This is the least attractive I will ever be in my entire life, (except maybe when I was blowing out my 'gine during child birth) and it does not require an audience. I can hold back my own hair. I will moan and groan, miserable, wishing for drink two, I will feel like complete SHIT tomorrow. But, it is the natural way of things. Time passes, seasons change. Next time I'll appreciate drink two more, make it last as long as I can. I tell myself this everytime.