So, where is the chase, and how do I cut to it?

Saturday, January 23, 2010 So, where is the chase, and how do I cut to it? Current mood: curious Category: Fashion, Style, Shopping My hair and I have an awkward relationship at best. In elementry school, they called me spaghetti head because it was so long blonde and straight. In jr high that began to change. It started to get wavy. But not pretty wavy, frizzy big wavy, and darker too. I've never loved my hair. I either hate it, or I don't hate it. It's not thick and luxurious, (bitch sister with the perfect hair) and it's not very thin either. If I blow dry it, it gets BIG, but it's cold, so I try anyway. It's very low on my list of priorities. I will not spend $30 on shampoo for it, or $200 for a cut and color. I will spend $5 for the industrial size shampoo at Costco, I will pay $12 for my trim at Great Clips, and I will wait for the $10 box of hair dye to go on sale for $6. I've tried all that shit, and it looks no different to me. Same with my getting ready morning routine. Way down there on the list. I have baby, eating, showering, and shaving large amounts of my body because if I don't I may as well not shower as I feel all gross and hairy when I get out. I DON'T not shower. I spend 5 minutes on my make up, and I'd love to spend that amount of time on my hair as well if I could figure out how not to have it in a pony tail freezing my head off in the winter. I daydream about the people who can get out of the shower and go and not have people be scared of them when they see them when their hair dried naturally. I've also never had a "style." I've never kept the same look for more then a hair cut. It's always a work in progress. I grow it out until it's very long, then I get angry with something in my life, or I hate my hair, so I go chop it all off. Sometimes really all off like the lesbian/soccar mom haircut nightmare. I cried for 3 months. Big hair doesn't get smaller when it's shorter in case you're wondering, it gets BIGGER. Anyway, then I remember I hate my hair short too, so I grow it out again. I've never walked out of a salon thinking, I love this! I'm going to keep it this way for awhile! I usually think; I hope this still fits in a ponytail. I'm so sick of a ponytail!! When I met my husband, he informs me that he loves long hair on a woman. Mine was still growing out from the aforementioned trauma, was about shoulder length, and in all honestly I hated it less then I ever had. But I was following my ususal pattern and was growing it out, so he was pleased. I did warn him of the dreaded consquences of me having long hair from the begining. It gets EVERYWHERE. In the clean laundry, which means yes, it will end up wrapped around your junk, just because we share a dryer, sorry 'bout your bad luck. On the ground in little nests, in the fridge, on the furniture, in the blankets I make. It's gross, and I apologize, but what am I going to do? It doesn't usually end up in the shower drain because I brush it over the toilet before I get in, and after I get out. I've always said, I'm going to be implicated in a crime because my DNA will be at a crime scene in the form of my damn hair. He didn't believe me. Now he does. I'm about 4 inches away from my argh damn hair moment, so probably another 6 months or so. But he doesn't know what to do with all the hair. He asks me, do you want me to get you a gift certificate to that expensive salon for Valentine's Day? Insert dirty look. No. There are SO many things I'd rather spend money on then my lame hair. I remain indifferent to it, I don't ever think it'll look fantastic, but if it looked acceptable, I'd be fine with it, short, long, whatever. So he says, maybe if you just get it cut like an inch below your shoulders, it wouldn't be so.....in everything. Poor guy. So I'm wondering. Should I attempt a style? Should I look something up on the internet, and bring it in? Tell Great Clips, I want this. Should I attempt layers? (Why the hell don't they realize the bottom layer doesn't curl up as much as the top, so when they leave it that long, it looks like a fucking mullet and I end up trying to trim that inch off in the mirror of my bathroom?) Or should I just go in and get in cut straight across? See how thick it looks all one length, how it deals with a hair dryer? Ugh. Will I ever have hair happiness? Especially now that the baby has been grabbing it and I've found it in her fingers. Not good. Simple. Natural. Easy. That's all I ask. *sigh* Happy 5 month birthday to the cute baby mentioned above. :)