Thus far, you have been adrift in the sheltered harbor of my patience.

Wednesday, July 04, 2007 Thus far, you have been adrift in the sheltered harbor of my patience. Current mood: touched Category: Life This will be the one and only time that you see me saying anything negative about summer. I adore summer. My shoulder, back, hip, leg, knee, ankle, shit the entire right side of my body, they all hurt so much less, my muscles feel as though they are alive and stretchy, I glisten, not sweat, and it cleanses me. I spend large amounts of time in the sun, which is my favorite. To quote the fabulous Patsy,; "It's as though everything is -on heat-." But. I've gained a bit of weight recently. Not a large amount, just enough to have the ability to start a fire w/ the friction of the rubbing of my inner thighs. Normally I have no problem wearing shorts everyday of the season. But I now am afflicted w/ the unattravtive condition known as hungry crotch. Not to be confused w/ camel toe, that is not yet a concern. Mine is something that I have for years noticed on chubby kids, where their shorts are wadded up in their crotch so that they form an upside down V. I had wondered, damn, why don't those little shits just pull their clothes down a little? Now I know. B/c w/ every step I take, they are right back where I don't want them to be. I'd spend the entire day yanking on my shorts just to keep them down. Gross. So, I wear ALOT of skirts and dresses on my days off. Which is nice, I enjoy summer dresses enormously. Too bad I can't wear them to work, can't take the chance of flashing everyone in the midst of a restraint. *sigh* My second gross out for summer. Feet. I don't have a problem w/ everyone wearing flip flops. I LIVE in them if I'm not just barefoot all summer. My problem is dirty toes. Now, I realize that walking around in flips all day, your feet are going to get dirty. But there's a difference between dirty feet, and toes that look like they were dirty right after you got out of the shower. Nail polish all chipped up, grime around the nails. Argh!! Makes me want to vomit. I know I should just STOP looking. But I can't, I'm drawn to it, I HAVE to look at people's feet. I don't know if it's b/c I have feet issues, b/c I dance, or what. But I've taken care of at least 100 kids, I swear, in my tenure at the group home, and if I can remember their face, I can remember their feet. That's just how it is for me. So. Get a pedicure motherfuckers, or your feet will creep me out, I'll obsess over it, and while you think we're having a wonderful conversation, I'll be barely paying attention and instead be thinking about how fucked up your feet are. I'm always convinced that one day I'm going to pass someone in the store that has telepathic powers and I'm going to get my ass kicked. I think the MEANEST things about complete strangers. Obviously based on how they look or are dressed, seeing as I don't know anything about them. Unless they have their kids w/ them and someone in the group is being a douche. I always feel completely shallow, a horrible person, and I'm not that way, I don't judge people, I give everyone equal chances to amuse and entertain me. I'll talk to anyone. But in grocery stores, mini marts, I am brutal. I will rip you apart in my brain, so if you have the ability to read my mind, stay the fuck away from me ok? Just warning you. Gotta avoid any confrontations. From Norbit It's raining little white women. My prayers have been answered! Well she better move, cuz I prayed for a cadilac. Still Standing (In reference to the grass stains on her wedding dress.) Oh please, your father and I aren't animals, I just got really drunk at the reception and fell down a bunch of times.