This one’s lame. Bleh.

Thursday, June 05, 2008 This one’s lame. Bleh. When I first moved up here. I almost took flight back to Sacramento. I couldn't believe that I had come from a place that paid people to do all gardening and things that unfortunatly have to do w/ nature, to a place where I was introduced to "brushing". For those of you lucky enough not to know what this is, let me take you on an adventure. You cut down all tree limbs, sapplings, bushes and brush, drag them to a roaring fire taller then yourself, and throw them on. I'm highly flamible. I don't like insects, snakes, dirt, rodents, or plants out to kill me. And those exist here. Poison oak EVERYWHERE. It fucking sucked. Mother nature was pissed, and I was her target. But this is required work, otherwise fire season, not to be confused w/ burn season, will take your house w/ it on it's way out. Oh I was bitter. Plus I bought overalls b/c dirt and weeds and whatever else wants to touch your skin at all times, so I needed as much in between me and the evilness as possible. I was promptly made fun of by all involved. Assholes. The only thing good that came out of it was nightly sangeria. Also, for some unknown reason, my bathroom is the ancient burial groung where all bugs that get into the house go to die. First they attack you while using the bathroom, then you find their corpses scattered about aimlessly. So, needless to say, my introduction to country living was not a happy one. Then burn season ended!! No more brushing! And Josh bought me humming bird feeders. They are the tiniest birds ever, almost travel size, and they have taken over my back porch. I love them. I want to make them my pets and tickle their tummies. They are SO cute. They swarm in the evening, as many as 15 at a time, making sounds like a little mini motorcycle rally all around me. We also have been buying plants to brighten up the joint. Josh bought me jasmine, and more passion vines, tomatos, as well as jalepenos. No idea how to spell that, but doesn't matter as I won't be eating them. My little garden of eden on the back porch makes me very happy. So, I thought Mother Nature and I had called a truce. I was mistaken. Apparently I was NOT ready to step up my sunbathing time as I'd assumed, and the ass I am sitting on, is completely fucking burned. Don't ask. Needless to say, she has won this round, but there's no telling who the ultimate winner will be. Our screen is broken. It's a piece of shit really. It works sometimes, but most times no. If it is working, it opens just enough for me too SQUEEZE through, while catching my ass on the doorway for added posterity. Then, one day, something else caught too, around the time that I noticed an odd new occurance in my chestal region. It felt like something was touching it, so much that I'd look down and check what it was, confused as to what was happening. Each time, it was just my boobs!!!! They touch!! I have cleavage!!! Holy shit. I haven't had cleavage in like shit, 8 years at least. Unfortunatly, it also comes w/ a much larger ass then before. So, now I am in a dilema. When you exercise, you lose weight in the last place you gained it. My boobs. Fucking lame. Now I have even more reason to be a lazy fool. Or not reason exactly, more like excuse. Ugh. This is unacceptable. But I do really like my new boobs. I think I understand why brushing your teeth w/ Sonicare is better for your teeth. Most people get cavities in their back teeth correct? Well, I have to continualy brush only the back teeth or I spit toothpaste all over the place. Obviously I'm retarded when it comes to the skill required to use this toothbrush, but what can I do? I've found my dress. http://www.dessy.com/dresses/bridesmaid/2512/ In case you want to see it. It won't look exactly like that, as I'm having alterations done on it to look more mine, and the colors will be white and eggplant, but it's an idea if you're intrested.