She was unavailable for further comment for about 2 years.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008 She was unavailable for further comment for about 2 years. Current mood: jedi In times of stress, anger, being upset or nervous, when I can't control what's happening or do anything to fix the problem, I get songs stuck in my head. It does happen other times as well, but generally during those times the volume doesn't seem to be quite as loud, and it's not as intrusive. For years it would be the same song, by Snoop Dog, Loddy Doddy. No clue if that's spelled correctly. When fighting w/ myself about what to do w/ whatever problem is enveloping me, while stewing solitarily on the couch, this song would begin to play, and I would know very little sleep was going to be had by me this night. I later learned to combat it w/ a another song, generally row, row, row your boat, as it speaks of calm floating and dreams. But even that didn't work too often. As of late, I have had very little to be angry or anxious about, so it hasn't happened. But Monday and Tuesday I was worried about driving home from Clayton. (Unnecessarily of course as it turns out all signs point to Sacramento, literally.) So I discovered that other songs can intrude as well. On Monday it was Henery the 8th. Not my first choice to be sure. On Tuesday it was Last Dance. No idea where that came from. It's as if my anxiety is buzzing through my brain by breaking out in annoying song. There have been the occasions where it will be System of a Down, and band I enjoy very much, so this is very confusing to me. I think I may have found my new favorite movie; Stranger Then Fiction. I identify w/ this movie on many levels. The first and most inconsqential being that Emma Thompson is in it. I adore this woman and have since I saw her in Wit, and shortly thereafter in Love Actually. Her role in Stranger Then Fiction has assured her a place in my heart forever more. Second that Maggie's character is a skinny, baking girl, changing the world one cookie at a time, w/ a mean sarcastic streak to ice the cake, then in the next breathe speaking of dessert w/ such reverence I have to fight the desire to throw on an apron and break out the cook book by reminding myself it will not taste anything like my brain wants it to. Tattooed up and Susie Homemaker rolled into one, I can RELATE. But, the main reason I watch this movie repeatedly has something to do w/ the ability to escape life through books. A self defense mechanism aquired as a child to get through being a very odd duck at school, and not entirely liked at home, that has transported me into worlds beyond my imagination my entire life. I'm very happy to sit and read the day away, (something I think J is getting jealous of, but I sure wasn't going to sit and watch football this weekend, so like a kid in a candy store, I couldn't stop myself from buying numerous books when we stopped at the book store). Probably b/c I've always lived in books from when I was small, as a child I often felt my life should be narrated, (currently I would like a soundtrack to be continuously playing as well.) or I have acted as though my daily routine was a part of a story. For hours I would have an inner monologue about whatever it was I was doing. As if saving it all for the novel that either would be written about me, or that I would be writing later. Of course it would be the most mundane story ever written, but none the less, it was my story. Viewing it from that angle made it so much more bearable. I must say, I would greatly enjoy Emma as my narrator, although we would definetly have to stay away from "little did she know" even if it has appeared in my head more times then I can count. I did enjoy Will Farrell in the movie as well, his character was wonderful, and what girl could resist being bought flours? Impossible I say. I am sincerely hoping to have internet at J's house so as to be able to do this more often. I will have more free time given the fact I have not procured a job yet. I'm going to apply at Jamba Juice. I can't work at walmart or starbucks seeing as they will contribute to the downfall of all society, and I don't know if there's any bookstores there. They would be my first choice. Until then, au'revior. Or something. From Still Standing; We just wanted to welcome you and your same gendered love buddy. Judy, trust me, he doesn't want to associate his first kiss w/ a hug from his hooker mother. Man vs. Wild (to be said in an english accent) Also, I've got sand in my trousers, which is not ideal. Some weird squid cartoon: Leaky mouth woman, get on back into the house and take some of your I'm-so-old-I'm-gonna-damn-die pills! Leminy Snickett: You are so decesased. From Grandma's Boy: Thank you! Hopefully that will keep away the bad energy troll. Tales from Bed: I've gotten a disturbing call from the Harrison police, said my mother. Your father's wife has registered a complaint-something about eggs, desecration, and daughters.