It allows me to seriously aggravate a situation without actually changing the course of history

Thursday, July 23, 2009 It allows me to seriously aggravate a situation without actually changing the course of history Current mood: bored Category: Automotive How to Survive Long Term Road Work in Your Area. In the city: Go a different way dumb ass. Rarely is there only one specific route that will get you to your desired location. The alternate routes may not be as good, as fast, or whatever your preference is, but I’m sure they’re better then waiting in traffic for the sign guy to let you through. When I’d have to drive the kids places and we’d have a couple extra minutes, we’d go on “adventures” where the kids would tell me what direction to turn. As long as I kept my bearings, kept in mind the general direction we needed to be going, we did fine. We found quite a few different ways to go to the same place. I could get you from point A to point B 50 different ways in the city. Now I do realize there are a couple places in Sac. that only have one way, getting over the river for example. In those cases, read below. In the country: The problem here is that there are minimal ways to get from town to town. Generally the highway. So when they are working on the highway, you really don’t have much of a choice, and the go a different way dumb ass approach, no longer applies. When you must travel, here are some Do’s and Don’ts; Do Be calm, expect that you will be waiting in the hot sun for an hour or so, and plan accordingly. Bring snacks! I bought some handi snacks for my ride home the other day, and they were quite enjoyable. Also, beverages are a definite plus, especially due to the fact it’s over a hundred degrees. Turn up the radio and ignore that you are a ginormous pregnant lady and dance your ass off (as good as you can in the car) to all the music the youngins’ are listening to. Radio is seriously kicking ass this summer. *This is especially recommended when driving with Husband, as he does not dance in the car and doesn’t really know how to handle it when you do. Amusement at it’s best. Take into consideration the crappiness of your car. If your car has a tendency to overheat, probably you should not sit for an hour with the AC on at the bottom of the grade. Because when it’s time to finally go up the very steep grade, you will be one of the many cars littered on the side of a MOUNTAIN with the hood up steaming away. I’m not saying this with any condescension as I just recently gave up my title as the Reining Queen of Crappy Cars. Although I don’t know if it really counts, as the reason is I just no longer have cars, I use J’s and he has standards when it comes to such things. Also, you are seriously borderline on your crappiness if your car actually has AC so let’s pay attention and not leap over that line with your lack of common sense. Take precautions, some people stop in the shade, even when there’s room in front of them. Bring extra water for your poor thirsty car. Just make sure your idiocy doesn’t affect the many cars around you, already at the end of their ropes in the waiting business, all right? Do Not Under any circumstances talk to the dudes in Yellow Vests. They are lonely and bored, you are their captive audience for however long the line has to wait, and if you’re in front, this does not bode well on the amount of time you will be trapped. So even if you are going this direction because of the retarded fucking truck that couldn’t decide if it wanted to go left or right, even after you honked a bunch, and just sat at the goddamn stop sign, so you had to back up, turn right around them, (even though you wanted to go left) and the road you need to take to turn around is 20 feet in front of where the Yellow Vest guy is standing with the sign, and as you stop you see the stupid fucking truck just go straight, making you want to kick their ass even more, and proving that you really do need that ramming bar J won’t put on the front of your car for just these situations, just sit there quietly. It becomes an ‘if you give a mouse a cookie’ issue if you strike up conversation with, “Is it possible for me to turn right at that road up there?” It opens Pandora’s box and by the end of the wait you will be fighting off the offers of taking in the lovely visions of his Tasmanian Devil with a rebel flag tattoo simply because he has noticed the (not at all cartoon based) tattoo on your forearm, and you will have to inform him that no, there is not ‘much to do for fun around here, sorry about your bad luck.’ All of which needless to say just makes the time pass slower, and with a much more awkward pace. (Abort all car dancing in this situation.) Be the car that after we finally clear all road construction, signs, people, equipment, everything, is still going 30 miles under the speed limit. Holy Bee Gees, we have shit to do. We loath being behind you in normal circumstances, but at this juncture, ramming may be our only option with or without the required bars. There are turn outs, MAKE USE OF THEM. Come swinging around the sharp corners where you know there is construction at top speeds giving the cars that have come quietly to a complete stop in front of you a coronary as you slam on the brakes in an attempt to not shove a line of cars off the mountain. It would be much appreciated. There are about 70 signs warning you of the impending need to stop, so feel free to go a little slower, in an effort to keep everyone on the road. I will add to these guidelines as I see fit, as the construction seems to have no end. Thank you. Amelia’s number 1 fear about the road work; Holy shit what if I go into labor. These lines are a couple miles long, will J have to ditch me in the car and go jogging up to the first person he can find and inform them that I REFUSE to give birth on the grade?!! What if the car lines start moving before he gets back? I’ll have to drive until I reach him? Will they even let us through?! Ugh. Probably I should not go into labor during business hours.