blah

Sunday, April 23, 2006 No, it was not the back button. Current mood: melancholy I was driving to ballet today, and I started thinking about passion. Some people are not passionate about anything. They go to work, they come home, they live like the couple in American Beauty. There is nothing like passion. It will drive you to do things that seem completely out of reach. It will keep you going when faced with embaressment, ( why is there no spell check in these fucking things?! It's driving me to distraction!) failure, pain, the poor house. Everyone needs something to pour their whole heart and soul into. People, (boys mostly) ask why anyone could find male ballet dancers attractive, they flit around in tights for god's sake! (Not always a bad thing.) But, to have common passion for something such as ballet, or any dance. Something so impossible for most people, (including me, as proven by me, in class, today) to see someone doing such beautiful and emotional things, that you understand how hard they work, the painful and emotional toll they go through on a constant basis, well it's just impossible not to find them attractive. To appreciate the passion they have for what they are doing. And it tranlates to all things. When someone is passionate about something, it's so intriguing. You want to catch a little bit of it. Feel what they feel. Sometimes I feel too lost for words, but as long as I have the ability to laugh, cry, FEEL, I know sometime, the good feelings will catch up with me, because when you truly believe, when you have love for something, someone, you know it will come again. The next class, the next performance, the next hug, the next stupid knock knock joke, the next song you write, the next picture you paint, the next baby's first...,the next time your best friend makes you laugh, something, will change everything. It has to. I had a very long blog, complete with pages of The Book of Joe, and lucky you, I pushed a wrong piece of shit button, and lost it all. Next time, I swear. Until then; from Grey's Anatomy: "You might want to leave before I change my mind and let her beat you to a pulp with her tiny ineffectual fists."