Ladies and gentlemen...

Tuesday, June 06, 2006 Ladies and Gentlemen..... Current mood: crazy Boys and Girls....Come one, come all!!!! Come inside and witness the glorifyingly horrifying, the awe inspiring, spectacale of Auntie Maya CRACKING THE FUCK UP. You will see that her moods they are a swinging, her teeth they are a clenched, her hair it is a graying, her heart it is a pounding, her eye it is a twitching and her lungs they are a blackened by the near constant smoking, all this and more!!! We questioned, what could have happened? To have caused this event in such a normally even kealed, calm girl, who's head has seemed to be filled with only pretty pink and blue thoughts in the past. The only words that could be understood were the almost illedgable; "Could you shove more shit into one fucking month?" Seeing that we would get no more out of her, we decided to dig deeper, and here is what we have unearthed...... In 10 days she is expected to perform with her ballet studio, in 3 seperate dances. All of which she has routinely been screwing up hardcore. One of which is 9 minutes long, that she has not once performed appropriatly all the way through. Another of which will be danced with only 1 other person, making it impossible to follow the rule she has set for herself in the past: hide behind some other motherfucker, in the hope that what seems to be the entire world in the audience, won't be able to look at her. And the kicker of that one is, she doesn't even like the dance!! For shame..... Sometime before the above date, the boyfriend she hasn't seen in 3 months will be arriving home again. While the parting was amicable, and she is looking forward to his return, she missed him dearly, there seem to be some, (sharp intake of breath otherwise known as...) *gasp* unresolved issues!! When asked for his opinion, the boyfriend had only this to say, "I'm going to be good, trust me." Whew, what a relief, all fears and worries have been put to rest. His being home will be a rather large change to the life she has been living. Her quest to become an alcoholic has been moving along at warp speed, something that will have to grind to a halt in his presence as alcohol is FORBIDDEN. There is also the small matter of the time she spends on myspace. She will be expected to pay attention to her boyfriend, and he will probably not look fondly on her spending 5 and 6 hours on there at a time. She's not convinced this will be a bad thing. Her friends have been stepping up remarkably well, who have been keeping her entertained, making sure she is feeling loved, have all earned their wings into heaven, and her heart, and she is not prepared to once again go back to anti-social status. We shall see how exactly this saga plays out. We also found out that in 18 days her NINETEEN year old sister will be pledging her eternal love to another, in Texas! She is expected to attend, flying out the Wed. before. She is looking forward to seeing everyone, even though most of them probably hate her, as she refuses to write, call, or acknowlege the exsistance of most of them. As we all know, weddings can be stressful. She has been handling this quite well so far, she just refuses to think about it. When her mother called to let her know of the arrival of her boobs, she is once again reminded she has not yet bought the cute and uncomfortable shoes, that she is hoping will cost no more then $2, as that is all she has in her wallet. We feel she would like us to let her friends know, she appreciates the valient attempts they have made in staving off what she has come to realize is an inevitable nervous breakdown. They're magic is powerful, but unfortunatly, her nerosis is reaching heights never before known. She is more then willing to share any drugs given to her in the funny farm in exchange for company on visitor day, and cigerettes. She can currently be found, crying and yelling at inappropriate moments, over reacting to big and small, marking the dances she has no hope of mastering, draining the bottle of it's last bit of vodka, alone, in her apartment. Step inside, only 25 cents, only 25 cents, bring the children, we promise she will not disappoint.......