You, me and the ninja, we gotta go out sometime. It'll be great, we'll get some beer.

Saturday, July 08, 2006 You, me, and the ninja, we gotta go out sometime. It'll be great, we'll get some beer. Current mood: calm What up bitches. This one's short, lucky you. Not to toot my own horn, but beep fucking beep, I'm a fantastically skilled drunk. Not only can I sew, I can thread the goddamn needle. Some people can't do that shit sober. It took a few tries, but I accomplished it. My mailman won't deliver packages to me, unless I'm in the middle of a shower. It's happened numerous times. I kinda feel bad for the guy. I'm not looking my best in the middle of a shower. My hair's all jacked from the water, the previous day's makeup smeared under my eyes. Why do I answer the door in the dripping wet, in the middle of a shower you ask? Because I'm expecting a package and those bitches will totally send it back. Duh, big red truck. Plus, it's the closest I come to getting any action these days. Again, I feel bad for the guy. To put any concerns to rest, all stresses previously mentioned, have passed, and went fine. I'm no longer cracking the fuck up. I really could have done alot better on the performance, but I didn't fall off the stage. If we go to Sparky's this weekend, I'll bring the DVD, and you can all make fun of me. The wedding was beautiful, I fucking hate Texas, SOOO many bugs, I can't even tell you. But it was wonderful to see Meredith, and again, I didn't fall. Her husband, (holy shit, she has a husband) is totally obnoxious, but in an endearing kind of way. Sometimes. Plus, when I get the pictures, you can see the super hot fucking shoes I wore. I'm going to wear them to clean the house, I mean they are that awesome. I did choke on the toast, but I'm currently working on blocking that from my memory. Ahh, that's better. Apparently in Texas, everyone's number one goal is to be married. (After Friday night high school football that is.) Even the one lesbian I met was married. They went hunting after being married in camos, cammies? Whatever, you get what I'm talking about. I'm so not joking. I must say, there is freedom to living alone. Seeing as I have no dishwasher, there was no where to hide the vodka. And, seeing as there was no bedroom, there was no where for me to be out of sight in order to drink it. Yeah, I'm 27 years old, and I was hiding that shit more then when I lived w/ my parents. (Well, not here, at the other place.) Not b/c he would have been mad, but b/c he would have drank it. Plus, my food is still here, my house is somewhat clean, and there's tons less laundry. I'm attempting to look on the bright side of fucking life. All in all, I'm fine. Just so everyone knows. There were very little adjustments to be made. Just in my thinking, not my living. I'm working on it, 10 years is a long time. He's doing fine as well. Obviously we both could be doing better, but, it's the way it is. My cat however, is a different story. She's super pissed. Eh. So, I am now attempting a social life. Things are going well, no staying home by myself, all depressed. To be honest, it's wonderful. I love seeing you all so much. I can't believe what I've been missing out on. I'm so glad you all waited for me. I love you!!! I'm feeling like a teenager, starting over again. I went to Ozz Fest w/ Bethany and Cassidy. It was soooo fucking cool. System of a Down was awesome beyond words. I'm so glad I went w/ such wonderful girls. A bit of a change for Cassidy I think, but she said she liked it. One of my favorite moments was when some bitch yelled really loud, then flashed the dj at the 98 rock stage. I look over at Cassidy, who looks at me, rolls her eyes, and says; "Well, that was uncalled for." So fucking cool, I laughed my ass off. I'm having a race between skin cancer, and lung cancer. Sadly I tan orange, so I think I look a little odd, but I swear it's all the sun, no fake shit. I really think skin cancer is gonna win, anyone up for placing bets? I'll let you know about any new developments. I'm feeling hopeful for this summer, I'm sending you all my love, and happiness. Now I'll get to give it to you in person!!!!! Call me my loves!!!! From the Simpsons, best quote to describe my life right now: "It's like that twilighty show about that zone." From Good Will Hunting: "They were fine. I was gonna close the deal but then Chuck, uh, Billy insulted one of them, and then the heavy set girl said I had a recieding hairline and I was a few pounds overweight, I was like go fuck yourself!.....I swallowed a bug."