Imerial Majesty of Procrastination

Thursday, April 27, 2006 Imperial Majesty of Procrastination. Current mood: sore If someone who doesn't work at the post office goes in and shoots the place up, is it still called going postal? Because I have some plans, so, I'm just wondering what the headlines will say. It doesn't hurt to be prepared. I will watch Must Love Dogs all the way through, just to see the way John Cusack looks at Diane Lane when they're standing at the meat counter. It just makes my heart stop. I truly don't think anyone has ever looked at me like that. It is because of that scene that I am harboring a (no longer) secret crush on him. Joan and John Cusack are damn funny by the way, I love them. I was walking out of Walmart the other day and passed a very pregnant woman, wearing a very small t-shirt, long johns, (tight thermal pants) and flip flops. I had to stop and consider the possibilty that while I was inside, the Walmart had been teleported to Calaveras without my knowledge. I recognized the parking lot, and the stores across the street, and came to the conclusion that there just must be a little of Calaveras in Walmarts everywhere. Just an FYI, if anyone out there is giving out free body massages, count me in. I danced for 3 hours today, (not much considering professionals dance for oh, 10 hours a day?) but I must say lactic acid is fucking with me, I am so sore. The fun will really start tomorrow. Book of Joe; 'I haven't always been this dispassionate; I'm fairly certain of that. Is it a function of time and distance, or have I simply shed over the years what general sensitivity I once possessed? I try to reall a time in recent memory that I expressed any heartfelt emotion to another person, and can't come up with a single instance of sentiment or passion....I'm troubled by the notion that while I wasn't looking, I seem to have become an asshole. This leads to a brief, syllogistic argument. The fact that I suspect I'm an asshole means I probably am not, because a real asshole doesn't think he's an asshole does he? Therefore, by realizing that I'm an asshole, I am in fact negating that very realization, am I not? Descartes's Asshole Axiom: I think I am, therefore, I'm not one.... It is debates like this one, and the sneaking suspicion that I'm losing the overall capacity to give a shit, that led to my brief and ill-fated stint in therapy.' I can't believe none of you (except Mandeep, who GAVE me the book to read) have read this yet. I'm going to kick each of your asses next time I see you. Speaking of seeing you, I am SO excited about this weekend. I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to this. I am going to celebrate Jen's baby, shower her with love, get trashed, then go to work. Should be awesome. Melissa says I'm highly amusing while drunk. I don't see it. I talk about lesbianism, (I'm for it) have problems eating salad, (it just goes everywhere except my mouth, I have no explaination) show people random things on my body that require the removal of clothing, but otherwise, I don't think I make much sense. Then I barf the next morning, which Melissa also found amusing, which should tell you something about her sense of humor. I know people funnier then that sober!! Melissa included. But, I aim to please, so drunk I shall be, bring on the vodka!!!!