Ouch motherfucker, that ain't it.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006 Ouch motherfucker, that ain't it. Current mood: bored I am so fucking bored.... This has been happening to me alot lately. Exhibit A... On Monday, I'm super bored, and this kid, we'll call her Ambrosia Salad, b/c those that know her will get that. She's sitting on the floor, so I push her over and sit on her. She'd been bugging me, so she deserved it. (This isn't as bad as it sounds, the kid outweighs me by at least thirty pounds, besides, have we met? I'm not exactly a hefty girl.) So she is writhing on the floor, acting as though the weight of my fat ass is crushing her unlike anything she has ever felt. I say to her, "I've never killed anyone by sitting on them." She says, in a dramactically strained voice, as though it is her last possible breath, "I'm pretty sure....*gasp*...you're lying." Sweet. FYI, in sign language, the sign for bored is you pretending to pick your nose. Eh, I don't have anymore exhibits, I'm not cleaning the house or anything. I just sit around, and be bored. Has anyone else been driving down the street, in their own car, and thought for a few seconds, "oh shit, did I forget my keys?!" Because that's happened to me way too many times to be healthy. I bought some new cds w/ a gift certificate for T from amazon. Look, it came like the day after he left. I claim it. But I'm beginning to think that I should just use them as frisbees b/c they are negatively impacting my life. I am dancing in my head, ALL the time. People talk to me, I have to ask them to repeat it. I'm driving down a busy street, and finally notice I'm going 25 mph and people are flipping my off as they pass me. (I guess that's better then when I cry in the car, then they just look scared. I do that all the time, why don't I ever see anyone else doing it? Is it just me?) I ignore the children. I'm telling you, they are fucking up my shit. Here's the problem, my apartment is tiny. And it's upstairs. I can't dance here. At the group home, there are other people, and they look at me. I don't like that. I have nowhere to get this out of my system. I need to actually dance it, not just think it. I need to see if the timing works, if I have the ability. I'm going to go to some random park and dance on the lawn. Then at least I won't know anyone so it won't matter as much if they look at me. Plus I'll have the added bonus of the possability that they just think I'm a schizo and therefore avoid looking at me at all costs. I'm in the market for a sugar mommy or daddy, (I don't discriminate.) I need someone to take the fuck care of me. The catch is that I can't do anything sexual, as I have a boyfriend. No touching. I am willing to go to public events/parties in very high heels, tight clothes, stuff my bra, smile and attempt to look cute, while having deep philisophical and intellectually stimulating conversations though. (If decent food is being served, huge bonus, I may dance the tango w/ them, as long as they can teach it to me.) Plus I'm working on six pack abs, I'll keep you updated on those. Just putting it out there. I have decided it is unhealthy for me to stay in and do nothing but be lonely and (you guessed it.) BORED on my days off. Therefore, be expecting some calls from me. I'm getting the fuck out of the house. Hopefully you'll all be doing some free shit. Because, see above paragragh, yeah, I'm broke. From Dogma, "What I did just gave me a fucking migrane, so if you don't pipe down, I'm gonna rip your sack off like a paper towel!" (I've threatened a couple people with that one. It works.) "Christ, you knew Christ?" "Knew him? Shit, nigga owes me twelve bucks." From Me Talk Pretty One Day, I didn't want to kill her, but hoped someone else might do the job for me. "Everyday spent with you is like having a cesarean section." And all those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music. -Nietzsche